Most countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. What problems are caused by international tourism? What are the solutions to address these problems?

There is a longstanding debate over whether
tourism
is beneficial or not. Though it is true that
travelling
Correct article usage
the travelling
show examples
industry can be one of the most certain factors in raising the level of GDP of a
nation
, there are
also
some negative aspects brought about by international
tourism
. In
this
essay, I will examine a variety of demerits of touring and suggest some solutions to these disadvantages.
To begin
with, most
countries
are worried when
tour-sector
Correct your spelling
the sector
show examples
takes up a high portion of the
overall
industry in the
nation
for several reasons. First of all, precious parts of their unique culture can be perished and polluted as a number of foreign visitors pay a visit to travel destinations. To attract tourists from other
countries
facilities
such
as roads and malls are renovated and during
this
process, cultural heritage which has been preserved for a long time vanishes.
Secondly
, focusing on
tourism
heavily can lead to imbalanced economic development and slow down the pace of development by neglecting other fields of industry like farming and manufacturing.
According to
recent research conducted
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
Development Institute in 2020, northeastern Asian
countries
whose percentage of international travelling
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
GDP was over 50% in 2010 have developed by 5% only
whereas
other neighbouring
countries
have developed by 7%. In spite of the above-mentioned drawbacks, there are several solutions to handle
this
problem.
Firstly
, Education on how to protect cultural heritage
while
travelling should be provided to the students in the school. People of both visiting and visited
countries
should know how precious travel resources are and how to protect them. Getting the travel etiquette cannot be overstated to global citizenship.
Furthermore
, governmental distinct Efforts and funds are essential to make a
nation
develop adequately. With these funds, a variety of programs could be designed to transfer profit from abroad travelers to seeds money which accelerates the prosperity of other services or factory industries.
To sum up
,
tourism
can be harmful to a
nation
because that have exotic Cultures
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
or the
nation
is developed unequally.
However
, I firmly believe that these negative effects can be tackled by adequate education and governmental extra effort.
Submitted by 0617crystal on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that each sentence within the paragraph supports that idea. Aim for a logical flow between sentences and avoid generic statements that do not directly support the argument.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to illustrate the problems and solutions mentioned regarding international tourism. Examples provide clarity and strengthen the argument.
task achievement
As for the task achievement, ensure that the response directly addresses all parts of the prompt, with an equal balance given to the discussion of problems and proposed solutions for international tourism. The given solutions should directly counteract the identified problems. Lastly, ensure the accuracy and relevance of data when quoting studies or statistics, as this strengthens the argument and reflects a better task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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