IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The spread of a ‘global language’ such as English will threaten national languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, some people believe that international
languages
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 will replace the
existance
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existence
 of national
languages
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.
However
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, is it really a drawback? I would contend that it won'
t
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 decrease our knowledge of
national
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the national
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language
Use synonyms
 in daily conversations, which
i
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I
show examples
 will discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
firstly
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, it is a widely known fact that every
language
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 represents its country.
For instance
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,
Indonesia
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 has
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
a diverse cultural heritages from west to east which align
to
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with
show examples
 its various traditional
languages
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. Every region speaks different words, yet whenever you move
to
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from
show examples
a
Correct determiner usage
one
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 city to another, you still can possibly have
an enjoyable talks
Correct the article-noun agreement
an enjoyable talk
enjoyable talks
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to
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with
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 everyone
with
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in
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 the national
language
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 which is Bahasa
Indonesia
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.
This
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 has
became
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become
show examples
 a daily
needs
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need
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 and a habit of
Indonesian
Replace the word
Indonesians
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 that you can find in any
places
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place
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such
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 as schools or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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companies.
In addition
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,
Indonesian
Replace the word
Indonesians
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have
Verb problem
are
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 already used to
hear
Verb problem
apply
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various
kind
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kinds
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 of
languages
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beside
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besides
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the
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apply
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global
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 like
English
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.
Overall
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 don'
t
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 think it will affect our national
language
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 since we
were
Verb problem
have
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 completely
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 with it ever since we were born.
On the other hand
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, there are many
kind
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kinds
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 of international schools here in
Indonesia
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 that use
English
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 as their main
language
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. Some
priviledged
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privileged
 students
were entered
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have entered
show examples
 it since elementary school, which is a very young age.
Hence
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, they tend to be taught and talked in
English
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 ever since, and
as a result
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, some of them can'
t
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 even speak
in
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apply
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Bahasa
Indonesia
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 fluently. In
this
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 case, the government of
Indonesia
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 have made rules that Bahasa
Indonesia
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 needs to be a mandatory
language
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 to be taught in schools, even in the international ones. For academic purposes, students were obligated to
taught
Add a missing verb
be taught
show examples
 in
English
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, yet
in
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on
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 other
occasions
Add a comma
occasions,
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 they
speak
Wrong verb form
spoke
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 in the national
language
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. Eventually, the use of
languages
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 is now balanced and irrefutably effective.
To sum up
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, the global
language
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 won'
t
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 create a severe impact
to
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on
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 the national
language
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 since the government has regulated a beneficial way to use both
languages
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.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the idea
of
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that
show examples
English
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 will threaten any national
Use synonyms
languages
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language
show examples
 cannot be supported. All in all, both
languages
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 can improve
interpersonal
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the interpersonal
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 skills of everyone in the country
while
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 simultaneously
spread
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spreading
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 a good impact in
communication
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the communication
show examples
 field.

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Introduction
Ensure that you have a clear introduction with a concise thesis statement outlining your opinion on the topic. This will set up your essay for success in both task achievement and coherence.
Body Paragraphs
Develop your main points with specific examples and fully explain how these examples support your view. This will help to provide clarity and comprehensiveness to your argument.
Examples
Try to include more relevant, specific examples that directly relate to the topic. This could include citing statistics, trends, or citing specific case studies. This would make your argument more persuasive and improve task achievement.
Cohesion
Pay attention to the cohesion of your essay by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and logically across paragraphs.
Logical Structure
To increase the coherence of the essay, create a stronger logical flow by having a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph should logically lead to the next, with clear topic sentences and logical support for each point.
Thesis and Conclusion
Make sure to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to increase task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lingua franca
  • international communication
  • erode
  • linguistic diversity
  • transmitted
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • diluted
  • dominant
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language policies
  • real-time translation
  • technological advancements
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