With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the rapid advancement of technology, numerous robotic assistants are now capable of performing tasks traditionally done by humans. Despite the potential benefits of reducing the
workforce
, the drawbacks,
such
as a rising
unemployment
rate and substantial costs, significantly outweigh the positives. The most detrimental aspect of allowing technological machines to perform human tasks is the potential increase in
unemployment
. Technologies,
such
as artificial intelligence, are often more efficient than the human brain.
As a result
, if robots are integrated into the
workforce
, they could replace humans in various occupations, leading to a significant increase in
unemployment
.
Additionally
, the substantial costs associated with implementing these machines are a significant concern. Artificial assistants require a large investment not only for production but
also
for effective operation. Governments and authorities may find it challenging to make
such
a large investment.
This
funding could
instead
be used to enhance human values,
such
as academic education and practical training courses, to increase productivity.
On the other hand
, some argue that reducing the number of blue-collar workers is a valid advantage of automated machines. If artificial assistants are developed sufficiently, they can take on jobs that may be too labour-intensive for humans.
However
,
this
argument seems to be cut short, and it would be beneficial to
further
elaborate on
this
point. In conclusion,
while
technology has the potential to alleviate some burdens on the
workforce
, the disadvantages,
such
as increased
unemployment
and high costs, outweigh the advantages. It is crucial to consider these factors when integrating technology into the
workforce
.
Submitted by A group of student in Le Thanh Tong High School on

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coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with relevant and detailed examples or data to support your arguments and give them more weight.
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Provide a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages before arriving at a conclusion. Give adequate space to both sides of the argument and avoid one-sided viewpoints unless convincingly argued throughout the essay.
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Work on presenting comprehensive ideas by exploring and elaborating on the advantages as much as the disadvantages to provide a clear, balanced argument.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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