Rich countries should not give jobs to skilled workers ( for example: Doctors, engineers and scientists ) of poor countries as they are needed by their home countries more than rich countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #jobs #workers #doctors #engineers #scientists #home

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Skilled workers

definitely

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are definitely

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needed in every

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nations

Change to a singular noun

nation

show examples

fullfilled

Correct your spelling

fulfil

fulfilled

their demands. Some

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

believe that wealthy

nations

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need to close the job

opportunity

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opportunities

show examples

in their states for

experts

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from

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

nations

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, the reason is they are more needed in their own country than in the prosperous one. I disagree with the statement above because

the

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apply

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skilled workers have the right to choose their own job. People have a desire to change their

life

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lives

show examples

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for

show examples

Correct article usage

the

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better

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, especially people who live in poverty. some of the

experts

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live in

poor

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a poor

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environment

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environments

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the

Correct word choice

and the

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reason is, the

pay check

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paycheck

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that they get

is not enough compare

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is not enough compared

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than

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the expenses to achieve their

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

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and

experiences

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experience

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. , for that reason, they will look for new

opportunity

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opportunities

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fullfill

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fulfil

their necessity. The opportunity

that

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apply

show examples

given by

a wealthy countries

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wealthy countries

a wealthy country

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is more attractive with a better pay grade, of

course

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course,

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those

peoples

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people

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will leave their homeland.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government cannot give

a proper benefits

Correct the article-noun agreement

proper benefits

a proper benefit

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for

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show examples

them because the funds

needed

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are needed

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to support

other sector

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another sector

other sectors

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. Every

places

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place

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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their

Correct pronoun usage

its

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own variation of benefits, the more wealthy those places the more advantages that they can offer,

such

Linking Words

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apply

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insurance, big bonuses, home credit and other great benefits.

As a result

Linking Words

, many

experts

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wants

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want

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to work in big

nations

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For

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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conclusion,

peoples

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people

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can choose where they want to work without any restriction

Unnecessary verb

apply

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given by the government or any other groups. To change own life condition is the right of all the

human

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humans

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, even

Correct word choice

if we

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life

Replace the word

live

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in underdeveloped countries and have

obligation

Correct article usage

an obligation

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to support the

mother land

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motherland

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, the

experts

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need to improve their own

wellfare

Correct your spelling

welfare

than their

nations

Use synonyms

Submitted by awalia.septiani.17 on Mon Jan 29 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve the logical structure of your essay, focus on creating clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next with appropriate transition words or phrases.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your opinion, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your stance on the issue. This will help frame your essay and give it a more complete feel.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and show the examiner that you can provide nuanced and persuasive support for your ideas.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly outline your position on the issue, and maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay. Add more depth to your ideas to fully develop your response.

Task Achievement

Strive for clarity and comprehension in your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, with clear explanations and well-supported points. Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to further enhance the quality of your ideas.

Task Achievement

When making a point, back it up with specific and relevant examples. This might be from real-life situations, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly tied to the argument. Examples should be detailed enough to add weight to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Rich countries should not give jobs to skilled workers ( for example: Doctors, engineers and scientists ) of poor countries as they are needed by their home countries more than rich countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enugh time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?