Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

Numerous people argue that not all countries fit with only capital
punishment
,
while
others argue that the
death
penalty
is the recommended
punishment
for humans who execute violent
crimes
all over the region. I believe the
death
penalty
could be the best damnation because the criminal would be given up.
Thus
,
this
essay will discuss
further
the advantages and disadvantages of the
death
penalty
. Violent
crimes
were crucial issues for nations to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
care of.
Therefore
, the lawbreaker must get an appropriate
punishment
. There are several advantages of governance that make the
death
penalty
penalizing them.
Firstly
, it prevents individuals from undertaking a criminal.
Moreover
, the sinner could never commit
violation
Correct article usage
a violation
show examples
due to
the fact that the sanction would be that heavy for them.
For instance
, violent
crimes
such
as rape, robbery, assault, and murder can be avoided if the country takes a firm law and implement the execution rather than capital
punishment
.
On the other hand
,
this
kind of severe
punishment
also
has drawbacks. Judicial execution is irreversible and could lead to mistakes on it.
Hence
, there is a consequence or big risk to executing innocent people if there is a misleading conception
instead
of the law itself.
For example
, in Indonesia, execution was not the main
used
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
punishment
because the ideology of the country is that
death
punishment
was not inhumane.
To conclude
,
although
death
punishment
was the best way to prevent people from perpetrating
crimes
,
however
,
this
discipline has a big risk on it.
Thus
, it is essential for countries to organize regulations for criminals.
Submitted by izzahayuni85 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion but could benefit from greater clarity in presenting your opinion. While you mention that you believe 'the death penalty could be the best damnation,' the word 'damnation' may not be the most appropriate choice here, and this point also requires further explanation and exploration.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure coherence throughout your essay by organizing ideas more logically and clearly. Transition sentences should be used to smoothly connect paragraphs and ideas. Avoid abrupt topic shifts.
coherence and cohesion
Back your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. While you give general cases, providing specific, real-world examples would strengthen your arguments significantly.
task achievement
The language used shows a relatively good level of proficiency but is occasionally informal and inconsistent in tone. Be mindful of the register and complexity of vocabulary appropriate for formal academic essays.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advocates
  • Capital punishment
  • Contemporary society
  • Violent crimes
  • Deterrence
  • Retribution
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Imprisonment
  • Innocent
  • Unethical
  • Inhumane
  • Misuse
  • Legal systems
  • Heinous crimes
  • Closure
  • Moral concerns
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