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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

5.6. Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #robots #humans #future #development #invention #effects #society
Technology is the most important part of our lives today.Through
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
humans
 have created
robots
whcih
Correct your spelling
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very important for the development of our future ahead as our lives our getting busier we need extra help
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 our parents and household work
vice
Correct word choice
and vice
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 versa few people
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 the inventions of
robots
 are dangerous because we will forget the value of
humans
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
rrobots
Correct your spelling
robots
 have negative impacts
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our community in terms of
jobs
 and health. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots
 are everywhere and do help us with our daily chores like house cleaning and other
esstienal
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emotional
jobs
 in our lives
for example
 now
robots
serves
Change the verb form
serve
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurants and
self billing
Add a hyphen
self-billing
show examples
 counters and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
jobs
Correct article usage
the jobs
show examples
 of lots of young candidates who need
jobs
 as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career.And
also
 it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vey
Correct your spelling
very
 negative impacts on health as
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
techlonogy
Correct your spelling
technology
 of
robots
 will make
humans
 lazy and
unmoviitated
Correct your spelling
unmotivated
.
On the other hand
, robotics are very important for
humans
 in
Correct article usage
the comming
show examples
comming
Correct your spelling
coming
 years as everything is controlled by AI systems our
goverment
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government
, finances
an d
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and
show examples
 defense they work faster
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
humans
 in terms of gathering information and data. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
robots
 are
importants
Correct your spelling
important
 for our future for the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 confidential
securities
Fix the agreement mistake
security
show examples
 and dangerous because we will not value human talent anymore with developing technology. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opnion
Add a comma
opnion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots
 can take over
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 intelligence very
faster
Replace the word
fast
show examples
.
Submitted by muskaanahuja0007 on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each centered on a single main idea. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that further develop the idea.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly articulated. Aim to clearly state the topic and your position in the introduction, and summarise your main points succinctly in the conclusion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. General statements should be substantiated with more detailed and concrete illustrations to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully answers all parts of the question. Discuss both views meaningfully before giving your opinion, and make sure each viewpoint and your opinion are fully developed with supporting details.
task achievement
Try to express your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Work on sentence structure, vocabulary, and the clarity of expression to ensure the reader immediately understands your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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