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Band 7

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

#research #activities #health #millions #people #activites
According to
 recent research,
although
 millions of
people
 are aware of what options are good and bad for their
health
,they prefer doing unhealthy
activities
.The reasons behind
this
 issue are convenience
as well as
addiction
.To eradicate
this
 problem,the government should put high taxes on addictive
activities
 and induce
people
 to do physical exercises. On the one hand,one major factor that attracts humans to have bad habits despite knowing its detrimental effects is that
people
 usually opt for convenience.They do not want to put them into difficulties and prefer more comfortable ones.
For instance
,when
people
 commute short distances,they would rather use public transportation or personal vehicles
instead
 of going for a walk.
Consequently
,it can lead to several
health
 problems.Another primary cause is
addiction
 to some products .
While
people
 are aware of the deleterious effects of these products,they cannot quit them as it is so addictive.
For example
,there are increased number of individuals who smoke a cigarette and even despite wanting to quit ,it is almost impossible because of the
addiction
.
As a result
,it can result in many
health
 issues and even it can lead to death . It is possible to deal with
this
 problem with the help of some effective ways.
Firstly
,the government authorities should impose high taxes on unhealthy products.
As a consequence
,
people
 who have limited budgets cannot afford to pay for them and can be deterred from consuming them.
Furthermore
, state officials should ensure residents with many gym facilities in cities
as well as
 encourage them to do healthy
activities
 .By inducing individuals to engage in these
activities
,they can tackle
this
 problem effectively. In conclusion,
while
 residents have information about the deleterious impacts of unhealthy options,as they cannot quit because of
addiction
 and opt for comfort,they face many
health
 issues.
However
,it is possible to tackle
this
 concern by levying high money on unhealthy goods and ensuring gym facilities.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Structure
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Introduction/Conclusion
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Supporting Examples
Support your main points with clear, relevant, and specific examples or evidence.
Idea Development
Aim to develop your ideas comprehensively, providing a detailed exploration of the causes and solutions to the issue.
Flow and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking words to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Topic Understanding
You effectively identified and discussed major causes and solutions related to the topic.
Relevance and Examples
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at addressing the task with relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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