IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

nowadays many people buy items online do you think advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks?

In recent years, the popularity of online shopping has surged dramatically, reshaping the way people purchase goods and services.
While
Linking Words
 critics argue that
this
Linking Words
 trend brings drawbacks, including cyber fraud and poor product quality, I firmly believe that its merits, particularly
convenience
Use synonyms
 and cost-effectiveness, far outweigh the disadvantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will critically examine both perspectives before presenting my own view. One of the most compelling advantages of e-commerce is its unparalleled
convenience
Use synonyms
. Unlike traditional shopping, which requires commuting to physical stores, online platforms allow consumers to browse and purchase items from the comfort of their homes.
This
Linking Words
 is especially beneficial for individuals with hectic schedules or those residing in remote areas where retail options are limited.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online stores operate around the clock, granting consumers the flexibility to make purchases at any time, which significantly enhances accessibility. Another notable benefit is affordability. Many digital marketplaces offer competitive prices, seasonal discounts, and promotional deals that are rarely available in brick-and-mortar outlets.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ability to compare prices across multiple websites empowers customers to make more informed financial decisions. In some cases, the elimination of intermediaries reduces distribution costs, thereby making goods more affordable and accessible to a wider demographic.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, online shopping is not without its shortcomings. A primary concern is the risk of cybercrime. Fraudulent websites, identity theft, and phishing scams continue to undermine consumer trust, often resulting in serious financial losses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, many customers encounter counterfeit or low-quality goods that fall short of expectations, and returning
such
Linking Words
 products can be both time-consuming and frustrating. Another drawback is the absence of a physical shopping experience. In traditional stores, customers can examine and test products directly,
whereas
Linking Words
 online purchases rely solely on images and descriptions, which may be misleading.
Moreover
Linking Words
, delivery delays, high shipping costs, and environmental concerns associated with packaging and transportation can diminish the
overall
Linking Words
convenience
Use synonyms
 of online shopping. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online shopping poses certain risks,
such
Linking Words
 as fraud and unreliable product quality, its advantages in terms of
convenience
Use synonyms
 and affordability clearly outweigh these drawbacks. As technology advances and e-commerce platforms strengthen security measures, online shopping will likely become even more reliable, secure, and integral to everyday life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Keep the main idea in each paragraph and link them.
content
Add one or two more exact examples to back claims.
language
Some long sentences; break them into short lines.
structure
Use simple signpost words to show order.
conclusion
End with a short closing that restates your view.
strength
Clear view stated in the intro and conclusion.
strength
Good balance of pros and cons.
strength
Reasoning connects ideas well and uses linking words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: