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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

the graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The line chart illustrates the
amount
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 of emissions of carbon dioxide for each individual in some nations
such
Linking Words
 as the United
Kingdom
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,
Sweden
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, Italy and Portugal throughout the
period
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 from 1967 to 2007. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that among these four different nations, the United
Kingdom
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as well as
Linking Words
Sweden
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 witnessed a downward trend,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the other two countries
such
Linking Words
 as, Italy and Portugal experienced an upward trend during the given
period
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. From the graph, it can be seen that in the United
Kingdom
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, the number of carbon dioxide, which was released over the given
period
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 decreased gradually from about 11
tonnes
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 in 1967 to nearly 9 metric
tonnes
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 in 2007.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
amount
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 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 declined but the number of emotions in 1967 was just over 8 metric
tonnes
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 but
then
Linking Words
 it rose sharply to about 11 metric
tonnes
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 after that it started to fall significantly to approximately 5 metric
tonnes
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 by 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 Italy witnessed fluctuation during the given
period
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 the
amount
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 claimed rapidly from nearly 4.5 metric
tonnes
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 in 1967 to almost 8 metric
tonnes
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 in 2007.
While
Linking Words
 Portugal like Italy experienced growth in the given time
this
Linking Words
amount
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 first started from just over 2 metric
tonnes
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 in 1967 to nearly 6 metric
tonnes
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 just like the
amount
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 of numbers which was recorded for
Sweden
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.the graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United
Kingdom
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,
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, kingdom, sweden, period, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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