The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #place #years #governments #amounts #money #forces

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The current state of the world could be considered less dangerous compared to a century ago, and the authorities should spend less money on the armed forces. In

this

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case, I would like to agree with the statement. There are some reasons why I agree which I will discuss in

this

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essay.

Firstly

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, the state of the world is completely different from a hundred years ago. A hundred years ago there might have been a lot of conflicts going on, especially in the 1930s up until the 1940s when there was a world war. Under the risk

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that

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an insurgence might occur any time of day, having sufficient armed forces to protect one's country is a necessity. But nowadays I would argue there are only a small amount of insurgence is happening,

therefore

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buying a massive amount of offensive and defensive products is not necessarily the best choice.

Secondly

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, the issue has evolved into a digital threat.

It is clear that

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technology has been more advanced than it ever has at the present moment.

Accordingly

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, the hazard has

also

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shifted from physical to digital. It is uncommon to see on the news a data breach or a data leakage, and those are two examples of danger that should be addressed immediately. Putting a lot of money and effort into increasing the nation's digital security is an urgent matter in my opinion as the data contains a humongous number of personal information that could harm plenty of people if it is used inappropriately. In summary, it is unnecessary to allocate a huge amount of budget for physical artillery and it is wise to use it more on improving digital security as the kind of threat has

also

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changed in the past century.

Submitted by mikeasad on Mon Jan 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that you fully address the question prompt throughout your essay, not just in the introduction and conclusion, but also in each supporting paragraph.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more thoroughly with examples that are specifically linked to the question statement. Think of historical data or current examples that can strongly support your viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will help the coherence of your essay and the flow of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical structure by ensuring there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through the main body to the conclusion.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to accommodation officer at the college to describe your situation, your problems when you are sharing room with another student, say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?