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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart visualizes the survey's output of the main reason behind cellphone usage by adolescents from 2016 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly visible majority of young people use their mobile phones
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 social network purposes. The number of teenagers who claim to
using
Change the verb form
use
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 their phones mainly because of social networks has increased throughout the given period, whilst most of the other reasons have fallen off. The two biggest reasons why teenager used their cell
phone
Use synonyms
 in 2016 are because of social networks which dominated up to 50% and
email
Use synonyms
 which started off with 25%.
However
Linking Words
, those numbers were declining in 2017 which reduced both social media and
email
Use synonyms
 percentages to 48% and 24% respectively. Whilst
email
Use synonyms
continues
Wrong verb form
continued
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 to drop its number by 5% by the end of the period, social media
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually increased to 56% in the same year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the remaining cell
phone
Use synonyms
 usage purposes in 2016 were digital camera and
phone
Use synonyms
 calls with 15% and 10% respectively.
Phone
Use synonyms
 calls percentage increased by 3% in 2017 before gradually decreasing to 5% during 2019.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of adolescent who uses their cell
phone
Use synonyms
 for camera purposes remained steady during 2017 before experiencing a progressive change of 5% within the next two years.
This
Linking Words
 upward tendency eventually made digital cameras replace
email
Use synonyms
 as the second-highest main purpose of young people's
phone
Use synonyms
 use.
Submitted by racharrisons on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, email with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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