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Band 5.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
Nowadays, we can get everything effortlessly throughout the world. There are no differences between
countries
 as their products are equally distributed worldwide. In
this
 essay, I will state whether it is a positive or negative
development
. As
countries
 are becoming more similar, it gives us ease to find some products from other
countries
.
Therefore
, we don’t need to go directly to buy those things. In the past, we need to buy
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 tickets to go to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
specific
countries
 and bring those goods back to our country.
Moreover
, we
also
 need to pay the taxes stated in the country’s regulations. It’s quite complicated to get the product we want from other
countries
.
However
, for now, we can get the product effortlessly;
thus
, it shows a positive
development
.
This
 positive
development
 gives us the convenience of living in
this
 big world.
For example
, when you need to buy medicine from another country and you need it as soon as possible, it will be a relief if you can find that medicine easily.
In addition
 to
this
, it will
also
 have a positive impact on the economic sector related to export-import activities. Though the price will increase after taxes from the government regulation, it still gives ease as it is already distributed worldwide.
Overall
, it shows a positive
development
 when you can find some unique products from other
countries
 in your country. In a condition when you urgently need them, it will help a lot.
Moreover
, it
also
 has some positive impacts
in
Change preposition
on
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country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 economic
development
.
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on

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structure
Ensure there's a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay should have a thesis statement or a clear argument in the introduction, which is referenced in the conclusion.
task response
The ideas presented need to be explored in more depth, considering both sides of the argument to provide a balanced view. Consider the negative implications as well as the positive to give a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to make the progression of ideas clearer. Aim to have a topic sentence for each body paragraph and develop that idea fully with explanations or examples before starting a new paragraph.
examples
Incorporate more relevant examples to support your points. These should be specific and ideally real-world examples to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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