Nowadays people moving to other countries to seek job. Some people think it affects the children of such home negatively while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.

In
this
modern era, money is considered to be the most important element in someone's life. To get
this
, a normal individual works more than enough to fulfil his
as well as
his
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
needs. There is an ongoing trend, in which
people
prefer to
move
to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
to get a
job
which can complete their requirements.
In contrast
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe that it can affect their kids and family in their home.
This
essay will present both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives and will provide my opinion before an appropriate conclusion.
To begin
with, there are many nations which have low
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
and
thus
because of it the citizens
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
struggle to meet the financial requirements. In order to avoid it,
people
prefer to
move
to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
economy and would love to work there so that they can be stable.
Additionally
, it is
also
seen that
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
many places there are shortage of jobs, and because of
this
reason
also
, they decide to
move-on
Correct your spelling
move on
show examples
.
For example
, In
Africa
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Africa,
show examples
it is seen that many of the young generation prefer to
move
to
new
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a new
show examples
country like Dubai, where they can do a
job
and
also
earn money for their survival.
In contrast
, if the main person of the family is moving
than
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then
show examples
it can make a big impact on their family members. Both the kids and her partner would not have enough
to spend
Verb problem
apply
show examples
time to spend with her partner, and
this
thing
also
make
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makes
show examples
a big impact on the child's nurturing. To prove it, in
America
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America,
show examples
it is seen that majority of the the
people
send their children to kindergarten and
thus
they don't have enough time to spend with them. In conclusion,
although
the man
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to
move
to
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
to do his
job
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that if a person is facing some financial needs
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
he should
move
to
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
to get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
, but should
also
manage time with his family.
However
this
trend seems to be normal in
this
era, most
people
don't believe it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a drawback.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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introduction
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body
Focus on developing clear and distinct main points with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence
Improve paragraphing by starting a new paragraph for each main idea, ensuring your essay has a logical flow.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments from one sentence to another.
task
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that both sides of the argument are covered before stating your own opinion.
examples
Support your points with specific examples and explain how they relate to the topic.
grammar
Check your work for grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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