IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2012.

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2012.
#air #pollution #levels #four #countries
The presented bar graph presents information about the comparison of air
pollution
levels
 in the company of four countries in 2012, with a focus on three main
sources
:
electricity
generation
,
transport
 and
industry
.
Overall
, China had the highest
levels
 of air
pollution
 across all three
sources
,
while
 Australia had the lowest.
Transport
 was the leading cause of
pollution
 in America,
whereas
 in Japan,
industry
 was the primary contributor. China experienced the most significant
pollution
 from
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 at around 80
PPM
, followed by
transport
 and
electricity
generation
, both exceeding 50
PPM
.
In contrast
, America’s highest
pollution
 source
was
Change the verb form
was transported
show examples
transport
 at approximately 60
PPM
, with
electricity
generation
 and
industry
 contributing less but still substantial
levels
. Japan had the highest
pollution
 from
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 at about 45
PPM
,
while
transport
 and
electricity
generation
 were lower, each below 30
PPM
. Australia showed the least
pollution
, with all
sources
 contributing under 20
PPM
, and
transport
 being the highest among them. In summary, China and America had significant
pollution
 from specific
sources
,
whereas
 Japan and Australia had relatively balanced and lower
pollution
levels
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pollution, levels, sources, electricity, generation, transport, industry, ppm with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: