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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2012.

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2012.
The presented bar graph presents information about the comparison of air
pollution
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levels
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 in the company of four countries in 2012, with a focus on three main
sources
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:
electricity
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generation
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,
transport
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 and
industry
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, China had the highest
levels
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 of air
pollution
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 across all three
sources
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,
while
Linking Words
 Australia had the lowest.
Transport
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 was the leading cause of
pollution
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 in America,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Japan,
industry
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 was the primary contributor. China experienced the most significant
pollution
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 from
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industry
Add an article
the industry
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 at around 80
PPM
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, followed by
transport
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 and
electricity
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generation
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, both exceeding 50
PPM
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, America’s highest
pollution
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 source
was
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was transported
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transport
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 at approximately 60
PPM
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, with
electricity
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generation
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 and
industry
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 contributing less but still substantial
levels
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. Japan had the highest
pollution
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 from
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industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 at about 45
PPM
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,
while
Linking Words
transport
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 and
electricity
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generation
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 were lower, each below 30
PPM
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. Australia showed the least
pollution
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, with all
sources
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 contributing under 20
PPM
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, and
transport
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 being the highest among them. In summary, China and America had significant
pollution
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 from specific
sources
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 Japan and Australia had relatively balanced and lower
pollution
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levels
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pollution, levels, sources, electricity, generation, transport, industry, ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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