"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

There is a huge debate concerning which kind of
health
system is more appropriate to be installed in a country. Considering an old phrase says that "Prevention is better than cure", preventive
health
has shown an immense saving of money and better quality of life for individuals in some countries, in comparison to the late treatment. Because of that,
this
essay agrees with the statement and it will be shown in the following lines. It is known that creating campaigns and promoting educational material to literate
people
about some topics demands resources.
On the other hand
, the costs of medicament and daily rates of a hospital are much
expensive
Correct quantifier usage
more expensive
show examples
.
Hence
, it is very important to consider applying the
health
budget to
health
education and promoting awareness of diverse kinds of diseases and how to prevent them.
For instance
, teaching and alerting women to how to discover a cancerous nodule in the beginning, makes the treatment more efficient with more chances of cure.
Consequently
, it will demand less money and resources for the healing process and increase the chances of being cured.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, making
people
aware of how to prevent sickness, enhances the quality of life of the population, as far as
people
will keep healthy and
consequently
will avoid to spread of illness.
For example
, during the pandemic, many efforts were made by
health
departments to educate
people
concerning the right conduct of sanitization and prevention of COVID-19, which was fundamental to
hold
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the dissemination of the virus.
To conclude
, applying preventative measures is the best way to improve the
health
sector, promoting a better quality of life for the
people
and avoiding spending more money than expected.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support that central idea directly. This will enhance the clarity and cohesion of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to manage the flow and clarity of your writing. This will help in naturally guiding the reader through your arguments and improve the overall readability of the essay.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. This includes not only agreeing or disagreeing with the statement but also discussing the reasons for your position and considering any possible counter-arguments or implications.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to support your arguments more convincingly. Specific and detailed examples strengthen your essay by providing clear evidence for your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • public awareness
  • proactive approach
  • unsustainable
  • economic productivity
  • healthcare system
  • vaccinations
  • curative measures
  • comprehensive healthcare
  • financial burden
  • incidence
  • preventable diseases
  • eradicating
  • controlling
  • allocated
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