Some people believe that to become successful in sports one should have a natural talent. Others think that perseverance and practice are a crucial part to success. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the opinion that success in
sports
Use synonyms
depends on
talent
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
really widespread,
while
Linking Words
other people argue that goals
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
be achieved
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
a strong desire and repetitive training. It is agreed, that our body can change and our abilities can improve dramatically,
therefore
Linking Words
each person can gain progress by working out.
This
Linking Words
essay,
firstly
Linking Words
, will discuss in what kind of physical activities
talent
Use synonyms
is necessary, followed by an analysis of what qualities are important to be involved in sport.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are a lot of
sports
Use synonyms
which
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
innate
talent
Use synonyms
to participate in them.
For instance
Linking Words
, dancing is not for people who cannot hear music , because each dance is about rhythm.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is important to remember that there are some activities development
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which depend on the body's ability to be plasticity,
for example
Linking Words
, gymnastics or ballet. Undoubtedly, training can help to improve
this
Linking Words
,but it depends on
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
health,
therefore
Linking Words
it
also
Linking Words
can be included in talents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only persistence matters when someone has a desire to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
and be successful in it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lot of patience is required when it comes to gaining positive results since
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
countless traumas can be gained on the way to prosperity in
this
Linking Words
field.
Secondly
Linking Words
, professional sport is supposed to be time-consuming, as our body is a complicated mechanism
Change preposition
of changes
show examples
changes
Change the noun form
change
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which can be noticeable only after a long period of time.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, each skill can be developed ,
consequently
Linking Words
,
talent
Use synonyms
is something that can be acquired and improved.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay supports the idea that there are few kinds of
sports
Use synonyms
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
a person can participate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only with
talent
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, each ability can be gained by a strong desire and regular training.
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
To improve coherence, ensure that the essay has clear and logical paragraphing, with each paragraph focused on one main idea.
Linking
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, strengthening the overall essay.
Relevance
Avoid generalizations and make sure that the points made are relevant to the prompt.
Task Response
To achieve better task response, fully explore both views given in the prompt, and provide a balanced discussion before offering your opinion.
Grammar
Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and to improve readability and understanding.
Accuracy
Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve word choice.
Focus
Make sure that the introduction and conclusion directly address the question and that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: