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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #information #research #business #world
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Some individuals are convinced that publishing educational
information
 to society as much as possible would improve the speed of international growth.
However
, others argue that several details are extremely essential or too valuable to be shared freely. From my perspective, I agree that not expending any
information
 is quite safe in some situations, especially when it involves company secrets.
On the other hand
, new transportation is
also
 beneficial for each resident who lives in the world. First of all, expanding all
information
 around the world contributes to a better environment for
this
 generation, allowing people to access and absorb all kinds of knowledge in a short period of time without any restrictions.
For example
, some travellers are used to researching the newest data from overseas, which is extremely important before they embark on a journey.
Therefore
, checking related details of the international economy or weather provides a greater trip and experience because of accessible reports.
Conversely
, making any data achievable is not a brilliant strategy for private issues. An
increasing
Change the word
increasingly
show examples
 significant number of companies have numerous data and essential innovations that cannot be revealed by populations, which will damage their income and system.
For instance
, if Apple allowed all
information
 and insights to be visible to everyone, another company would start stealing these cherished details and inventing new products based on Apple's goods, making the iPhone an invaluable item in the generation.
Overall
, I firmly believe that it is not an intelligent approach to publish all
information
 to crowds. Some private products and research are too priceless to be accessed. Offering the crucial
information
 that people need is the best way to improve
this
 society.
Submitted by binyang212 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This format helps your audience follow and understand your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas more fully with specific examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more persuasive and complete.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of paragraphs, making sure each one naturally follows from the one before. Use cohesive devices effectively, but don't overuse them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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