Some suggest that young people should take a job between school and the university. Discuss what advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
It is argued that youngsters should take an occupation between school and
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
, while
others think it is not a good thought. I am agree
with Change the verb form
agree
this
idea due to
the fact that they can help their family for
their Change preposition
with
universities
payments.
Change the noun form
university
Firstly
, they can help their family by paying courses
Change preposition
for courses
their
Correct word choice
and their
university
bill. For instance
, they can work and earn salary
between school and the Add an article
a salary
university
. Moreover
, they can work in some shops such
as malls or supermarkets and have revenue. So, they can pay their
Change preposition
for their
university
courses. In addition
, they are more professional and learn better than the other students in view of the fact that they attend in
some jobs Change preposition
apply
which
related to their major. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, the person will study programming in the university
and he
have some Correct pronoun usage
apply
experiences
by Fix the agreement mistake
experience
participate
in some programming company. Change the verb form
participating
Therefore
, the
young people achieve and learn Correct article usage
apply
easier
their lessons in the Correct word choice
apply
university
due to
their experiences.
On the other hand
, perhaps the youngsters can not manage time for studying, because their occupation takes a lot of time, so they refuse to have sufficient time for their lessons and it has impact
on their grades.
In conclusion, some folk, including me, think that it is a brilliant idea if the young people have jobs before they attend Add an article
an impact
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
. At first,
they can help their family financially. For instance
, they are manage to pay for their courses. Also
, they have more experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
about
their lessons if they do some activities that Change preposition
with
related
to their major.Add a missing verb
are related
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Structure and Clarity
Introduction should clearly paraphrase the question and present a clear stance or overview of the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
Balanced Argument
Present both views clearly and evenly before stating your own position to create a balanced argument structure.
Development & Support
The main body paragraphs should each start with a clear topic sentence and develop one central idea with supporting details and examples.
Supporting Evidence
Make sure all main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples and clear reasoning.
Task Response
Avoid overgeneralization and ensure that you provide clear logical reasons for your arguments.
Language Use
Use a variety of grammatical structures and vocabulary to express your points more precisely and to demonstrate language flexibility.
Grammar & Accuracy
Take care of punctuation and sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences or fragments.
Conclusion
Conclude the essay by summarizing the main points and clearly restating your opinion.
Proofreading
Proofread the essay to correct errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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