IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The advancement of technology enables us to substitute
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as the main resource of both food and products.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as switching tiger leather with a synthetic one or using plant-based food rather than cow's meat.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is unnecessary to keep using
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as the main ingredients. Obviously,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 has some pros and cons which I will discuss in detail in the passage below. The obvious advantage of substituting
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is that environmental sustainability would be much greater than it currently is. It is a widely known fact that
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 were being killed for the sake of humans, be it for clothes or meals.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the polar bear is on the edge of extinction
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 being killed by people just to get their skin.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 action has been going on for years, and it even happened to a variety of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, including elephants, tigers, zebras, and many more.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the technology still has some limitations as the products that are currently being made with synthetic substances or plant-based meals do not really replicate the nature of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. There has been an innovation of developing a steak made from pure mushrooms. But, because its natural texture is quite soft, it could not really feel like meat.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, wearing a jacket made from the imitation of tiger leather is not as comfortable as using real leather. In summary, there are some advantages and disadvantages of changing the use of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 case, I completely disagree, but it is important to note that the animal's life is as important as ours.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt. Expand your discussion on why you disagree with the statement to offer a balanced view while remaining clear in your position.
Task Achievement
Introduce specific examples to further support your argument. Examples are essential in illustrating and reinforcing your main points, which will lead to a higher score in task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim for a stronger logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. Using phrases such as 'furthermore,' 'additionally,' or 'conversely' can help guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and present the main topic as well as your position unequivocally. They should encapsulate the essence of your essay and be memorable to the reader.
Task Achievement
Develop supported main points with more elaboration. Each paragraph should thoroughly explain the reasoning behind your arguments to provide depth to your essay, thus improving task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal welfare
  • Sustainable agriculture
  • Veganism
  • Carnism
  • Factory farming
  • Ecosystem degradation
  • Ethical consumption
  • Cruelty-free
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Plant-based diet
  • Nutrient deficiency
  • Cultural norms
  • Biotechnology
  • Animal-free products
  • Food security
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