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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Now a day people using social media to keep in touch with other and we aware of the news do the advantage of this outcome the disadvantage

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In
this
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 modern world, social
media
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 has become an integral part of our lives. Social
media
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 offers various advantages
such
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 as building networks, and keeping in touch with friends and other
content
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 but it has its own disadvantages too, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, man is a social animal.
Hence
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, connecting with the folks, co-workers, and friends and maintaining the relationships with them are essentially important. Not just that, but social
media
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 offers various other benefits,
such
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 as receiving updates on trending news worldwide, cooking and fashion
content
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, charities and politics etc.
Additionally
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, it creates a lot of job opportunities,
due to
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 which it benefits the nation.
For instance
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, with the help of social
media
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, a lot of people influence the citizens, with their daily lifestyle or fashion,
hence
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 the influencers earn money for the views, resulting in a boost to the economy.
However
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, there are certain disadvantages which could be considered.
Such
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 as, there are chances when rumours could be spread via social
media
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, which affects an individual life or the nation's reputation.
For example
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, rumours were spread that China's doctor spread coronavirus, which was not true,
due to
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 which the country's reputation was on thin ice.
Additionally
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, social
media
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 is an addiction, and it can distract a lot of people from their real
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, usage of personal information can be easily accessible because of hacking or fraud, many netizens are victims of
this
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 puddle.
To conclude
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, social
media
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 could be very useful if used in a certain manner and with all security,
otherwise
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, an individual could face its downside too.
Also
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, the government should only allow certain
content
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 creation and if someone is creating rumours or showcasing wrong
content
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 should be punished.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline and develop your main points to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to make your essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments more comprehensively.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of social media.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarized the main points of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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