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Band 5

Living alone is better than living in with someone. .Do you agree or disagree?

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Living alone means living in a place without anyone else. These days, many
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy living alone, especially when they move to a new place to work or study. It is claimed that when
people
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 live alone, they will gain a lot of benefits.
This
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 essay agrees with the above view for the following reasons.
Firstly
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, when
people
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 live alone, they will be independent.
In other words
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,
people
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 who live alone have to do everything by themselves without relying on others.
This
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 is because no one will be with them at home, so they will
train
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 themselves to be good at some skills.
For
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example
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, young adults who live alone have to cook their meals, clean the
house
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, and pay their bills by themselves without relying on their parents.
This
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 will clearly help them to be individuals who can do
house
Use synonyms
 chores and be punctual
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
do
Verb problem
making
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monthly
Add an article
the monthly
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payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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.
This
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 in fact can be a great benefit for them when they start having their own families and
this
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train
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 can be passed down to their children in the future.
As a result
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, living alone can
train
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people
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 to face their daily lives independently. Another justification is that
people
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 who live alone are able to have their own freedom and privacy. To be more precise,
people
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 who do not have housemates are free from any disturbances.
This
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 is because they can do everything at home freely without thinking about others.
For
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example
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, if they want to take
shower
Correct article usage
a shower
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 for a long time, they can do it without any issues,
however
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, if they have a housemate, they have to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the person.
Moreover
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, they can have a peaceful environment because their
house
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 will be quiet most of the time, so
this
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 can help
the
Correct your spelling
them
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 to do their work peacefully and they can sleep comfortably.
As a result
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,
people
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 who live alone can get less stress from other
people
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 in the
house
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can be independent.
In other words
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 live alone, they will not rely on others to do everything at home because none of their family members or friends will be with them.
This
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 will clearly help them to be responsible in many aspects.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, young adults who live alone have to cook their meals, clean the
house
Use synonyms
 and pay bills by themselves without asking
help
Change preposition
for help
show examples
 from their parents.
Moreover
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, in some cases, they will be able to manage their money because they know they will face problems if they do not have enough money
at the end
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 of the month.
As a result
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,
this
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 will
train
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people
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 to do
house
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 chores and
good
Add a missing verb
be good
show examples
 at managing their money. The primary reason to justify my view is that when
people
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 live with their housemates, they can do everything together as a team.
In other words
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, they can share the
house
Use synonyms
 chores together.
However
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, when they are alone, it can be tiring to do everything, especially when they have a lot of things to do at work or university.
For
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example
Use synonyms
, if there are three
people
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 in the same
house
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, one person can cook, another person can do the dishes, and the other one can mop the floor.
Consequently
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, when
people
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 live together, they can share their responsibilities with each other.
To sum up
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, I once again reaffirm my position that living alone is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
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 than living with someone else because
people
Use synonyms
 can be independent and they can have their own freedom.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence
Ensure consistency in your examples and arguments throughout the essay. There was a moment of contradiction in the paragraph discussing living with housemates, which could confuse the reader.
cohesion
Work on refining the structure of your paragraphs for clarity and impact. While the structure is generally good, making your main point at the beginning of each paragraph can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by including more detailed experiences or data to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas. Try to bring new insights or arguments in each paragraph instead of reiterating the similar points about independence and privacy.
task achievement
You've made a strong, clear thesis statement in your introduction, which set a focused direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reaffirms your position and summarises the essay's main points, contributing to a strong closure.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the detailed scenarios of living alone, effectively illustrates your points and makes your arguments more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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