IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans

the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans
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The diagram depicts steps that
are taken
Wrong verb form
take
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 place in the
aluminium
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
apply
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reclycling
Correct your spelling
recycling
process
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
process
Use synonyms
 has three stages,of which there are three stages at the
aluminium
Use synonyms
 recycling
plant
Use synonyms
.The
process
Use synonyms
 starts by collecting
aluminium
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cans
Use synonyms
 as trash and ends by distributing them as soft
drink
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
 to
drink
Use synonyms
 machines. In the beginning, consumers throw their used soft
drink
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
 into trashcans which are collected and head to a collection centre.After that, those
cans
Use synonyms
 are delivered by vehicles to the recycling
plant
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , at the recycling
plant
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, can
sare
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
 gone through several steps to make new
aluminium
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
. At the recycling
plant
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, old
aluminium
Use synonyms
 is moulted down to make new
aluminium
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.
This
Linking Words
 is
then
Linking Words
 converted into
aluminium
Use synonyms
 rolls.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
aluminium
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 rolls are used to make new
cans
Use synonyms
.After
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
In this
show examples
process
Use synonyms
,
aluminium
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cans
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 are bought by different soft
drink
Use synonyms
 companies to fill their drinks and those heads-to-
drink
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 machines to facilitate their customers.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium, process, plant, cans, drink with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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