IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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In many countries, the populations of animals and plants are declining at an alarming rate.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 problem and suggest several effective solutions to address it. One essential factor contributing to
this
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 issue is human activity, particularly habitat destruction and illegal hunting. As cities continue to expand and forests are cleared for agriculture and infrastructure development, many animals lose their natural habitats and food sources. Without suitable living conditions, many species are unable to survive or reproduce, causing their populations to decline rapidly. At the same time, illegal hunting has pushed numerous endangered species closer to extinction.
Consequently
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, biodiversity is reduced, disrupting ecosystems and threatening the survival of both animals and plants.
This
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 not only affects
wildlife
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 has negative impacts on humans, as healthy ecosystems are essential for food production, clean water, and climate regulation.
For example
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,
according to
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 the World
Wildlife
Use synonyms
 Fund (WWF), habitat destruction remains one of the leading causes of
wildlife
Use synonyms
 population decline worldwide. To address
this
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 problem, both governments and individuals should take responsibility for protecting nature. Governments ought to enforce stricter laws against deforestation and illegal hunting,
while
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also
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 establishing more national parks and protected areas to conserve
wildlife
Use synonyms
 habitats.
Furthermore
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, public awareness should be increased through environmental campaigns and educational programs, encouraging people to adopt environmentally friendly lifestyles and participate in conservation efforts. By working together, society can better preserve biodiversity and restore damaged
ecosystem
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ecosystems
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 In conclusion, human activities become the primary reason for the decreasing diversity worldwide and
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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. To reverse
this
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 trend, stricter government policies and public awareness in environmental conservation are crucial. By taking immediate action, we can ensure a healthier and more sustainable planet for future generations.

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task response
Score: 7. Your answer is clear and covers the task well. To reach 8, give a more full point about plants, not only animals. For example, say that forest loss also kills plant life and makes it hard for plants to grow.
task response
The WWF example is useful, but it is quite general. Add one clear real example, such as forests cut down for palm oil, or sea animals harmed by plastic.
task response
Explain how each fix will work. For example, parks give animals safe places to live, and strong fines can make illegal hunting less common.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. The order of ideas is easy to follow. Still, the second body part ends too fast. Add one more sentence to fully explain the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used well, but do not use too many general links. Make the link between cause and result more direct, for example: “When forests are cut down, animals lose food and shelter.”
coherence and cohesion
There are small grammar and word form problems near the end. Write “restore damaged ecosystems”, not “restore damaged ecosystem”. Write “human activities are”, not “human activities become”.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: why animals and plants are going down, and how to help.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: loss of homes for animals, illegal hunting, laws, parks, and public learning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “At the same time”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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