IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children
Dear Raj, I hope you are very well, I am writing
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
 letter to
infrom
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inform
 you that I
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 my Diwali
holiday's
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holidays
holiday
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 in your
city
. The
city
 of
USA
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the USA
show examples
. First of all, I
visit
 with my Family and
this
counrty
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country
 where you live. I
planing
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planning
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 to
visit
this
city
of
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from
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 26th
november
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November
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 to 1st December
in
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apply
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2023. I stayed in
hotel
Add an article
the hotel
a hotel
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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near
by
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apply
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your home. I am so
exciting
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excited about
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this
 trip
also
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and also
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 my
children's
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children
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 and wife to
visit
 the
city
. I riched
USA
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the USA
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 in 27th
november
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November
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 on 10:00 AM in the
in the
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apply
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morning. We
visit
this
city
 Because I have some information
collect
Wrong verb form
collected
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 like,
time
Correct article usage
the time
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city
,
hunstville
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Huntsville
, Alaska. Junear and many more. I watched their
city
 in my
T.V
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TV
 commercial one month Ago. That day I decided I
visit
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 with my family. And
also
 I have
some
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a
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 few questions about the
city
, like
time
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the
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city
 is
most
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the most
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 popular
city
 and many
advartaisment
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advertisements
 show all the walls and
building
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buildings
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. Second thing,
this
 place is safe for me and my family. Because I first time travel with my family in
in
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apply
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out of
india
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India
show examples
. I hope you help me and I
concated
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contacted
 you when
i
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I
show examples
reched
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reached
their
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there
show examples
.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
show examples
 faithfully, Parth Patel.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in the expression of ideas and maintain a clear focus on the task throughout the essay. Avoid deviations from the topic and ensure that each paragraph supports or develops the argument in relation to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay logically by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be developed with supporting details. Transition words should be used to show the relationship between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to write an introduction that clearly states your position on the question and a conclusion that summarizes your argument or restates your position.
task achievement
Develop the main points with specific details and examples that are directly related to the argument. Examples should be relevant and support the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
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