In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Many countries around the world are experiencing an increase in urban population.

As a consequence

, the rural populations are declining at a significant rate.

This

sparks a debate about whether

this

is a positive or a negative development.

This

essay argues that

this

phenomenon is a positive development for a number of reasons that will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. First of all,

cities

have been in existence to attract more opportunities.

For instance

, as far as millennia ago, the Mesopotamians are already living in urban spaces as it provides opportunities for their family. The reason why

cities

are a popular option is because the population is concentrated

thus

creating room for more economic activities. More economic activities provide room for growth for all.

This

explains why people who are moving to the

cities

are expecting upward mobility in their social classes.  

On the other hand

, we must acknowledge that with populations moving at an exceptional rate, some problems occur. The problem is the incoming population will cause a burden on urban infrastructure and a scarcity of accommodation.

However

, the problem can always be solved with better infrastructure management, building more flats and apartments, and providing better public transportation. Solving the problem above will not only provide more space for urban growth but

also

provide better access and opportunities for the existing populations. In conclusion, I believe that countryside dwellers moving to the

cities

should be viewed in a positive aspect rather than the

negatives

Fix the agreement mistake

negative

show examples

This

is supported by the fact that

cities

already existed

millenia

Correct your spelling

millennia

ago to provide better access to their citizens. As

cities

grow, the local government must

also

adapt to provide for the needs of their populace.

Submitted by athaarhdyn on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Task Response

Ensure a balance in discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of rural people moving to cities, to fully address the essay prompt.

Task Response

Include specific examples or case studies to strengthen the main points and demonstrate the practical implications of urbanization.

Task Response

Further elaborate on the problems caused by rapid urbanization to provide a more nuanced perspective on its negative aspects.

Coherence & Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, with well-organized paragraphs that build upon each other.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance your conclusion by summarizing both viewpoints and providing a more definitive personal stance on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Designer goods are becoming more and more popular. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group.some argue that peer pressure is important while others it has distinct disadvantages.do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?