IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
#information #employment #rates #countries #summarise #idea #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates how much employment
rates
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
6 different
countries
Use synonyms
 changed between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced growth
rates
Use synonyms
 in both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
. Gentlemen in Iceland headed the list over the given period,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 record can be seen for ladies in Switzerland. Iceland's men
rates
Use synonyms
 rose 10% from 70% to nearly 82% in 1995 and 2005,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 Switzerland's men experienced around 13% growth from 65% to approximately 78%. Women in Iceland and
Switzerland
Change noun form
Switzerland's
show examples
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
rates
Use synonyms
 increased nearly 12% from 40% to 52% and 10% from 55% to 67% respectively.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, for the rest 4
countries
Use synonyms
: Australia, the UK, the USA and New Zealand share the familiar position regarding the male
rates
Use synonyms
 in both years, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 57% and 69% in Australia, 56% and 71% in the UK, 60% and 71% in New Zealand and 59% and 71% in the USA for both 1955 and 2005. In the meantime, the percentage employment
rates
Use synonyms
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 for women were lesser than men with almost 28% and 39% in Australia, 50% and 62% in the UK, 24% and 43% in New Zealand and
lastly
Linking Words
 45% and 62% in the USA.
Submitted by amaliabalqis26 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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