IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans

the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans
#steps #aluminum #cans
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The charts illustrate the flow
process
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 for recycled
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aluminum
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aluminium
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cans
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 from
waste
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 to new
cans
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the four processes.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the collection center collects aluminium
cans
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 from
waste
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 sources.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the recycling
process
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.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 aluminium recycling plant.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the drinks machine. From the recycling
process
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 apparent the first
process
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 is the collection centre.
This
Linking Words
process
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 is
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aluminum
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aluminium
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cans
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 from collecting
waste
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 and transporting it to the next
process
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. In the following
process
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, the recycling
center
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centre
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 in
this
Linking Words
process
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 must be separated into four sections.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
,
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apply
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 melts down old
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aluminum
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aluminium
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 from
waste
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. Next
process
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, there is a new
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aluminum
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aluminium
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 bar. After that send to the next
process
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 called aluminium roll for roll the bar to sheets. In the final
process
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, they press to make
cans
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. After the manufacturing
process
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, they would transport new
cans
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 to the drinks machine for the customer. The
process
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 must move to the collecting
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 again
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, aluminum, cans, waste with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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