The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the facilities of a major university in 2012.

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the facilities of a major university in 2012.
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The bar chart illustrates information about the proportion of academic
staff
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, by gender, across the faculties of a major university in 2012.
Overall
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, major differences can be seen in education and engineering, where the proportion of students, by gender, was enormous.
Whereas
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, in other majors, it is properly balanced in one way or another. Business and science had the majority of men, where they accounted for 65%
for
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of
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both majors.
On the other hand
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, medicine was properly balanced, inclining towards
women
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by 1 per cent.
By contrast
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, engineering had an enormous gender gap, where
women
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comprised only 15% of academic
staff
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.
Nevertheless
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, the same tendency but the opposite is for education, where female
staff
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members accounted for 75%
totally
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total
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. In comparison, the percentage of arts is 55 for
women
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and 45 for men respectively. Law,
on the other hand
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, had 60% of men in academic
staff
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, where it was 40% for
women
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.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words staff, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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