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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

City living in the 21st century is stressful and offers no advantage. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement.

#city #st #century #advantage
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It is argued that in the
last
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century
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, life in the
city
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 has been more difficult to live,
due to
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 the high stress that brings living there.
This
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 essay totally disagrees, given that the 21st
century
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 has brought more innovations and
facilities
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 for society. The evolution and significant growth of the world have brought more
facilities
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 to the
city
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. it is true, that those advances, especially in the
city
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 have faced some issues with traffic aspects, since humanity is going up dramatically and with
this
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 the acquisition of transport.
Due to
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this
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, some
people
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 are in the contract of the new lifestyle in the
city
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, because of the population, car, variety of restaurants, and expenses that they have to waste to live there and
for
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this
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 reason opt to move to relaxed places outside of the
city
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, where traffic and high demand are not around them.
For example
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, in Australia, a lot of percentage of families and old
people
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 move to the suburbs to save money and bring a calm lifestyle, since they are around beautiful landscapes and the noise is just for the birds, compared to young and foreigners that prefer the
city
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 as a excuse to make friends, go out and enjoy the culture.
Nonetheless
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, The new opportunities in
this
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century
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 have grown dramatically, and life has become easier, compared with many years ago, when
people
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 had to restring to many things or spend a lot of
time
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 and things that are faster in
this
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time
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, using
time
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 in hobbies, studies, and new projects.
Also
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, talking about the
city
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 is a place of business, recreation, and relationship growth. That's why, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because the
city
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 can be synonymous with
recreations
Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
show examples
,
facilities
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, and practice.
For instance
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, international students most of the
time
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 choose
city
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 experiences,
due to
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 the new connections that they can make there, improving
language
Correct pronoun usage
their language
show examples
 and getting transport public easily. In conclusion, despite the fact the population is growing dramatically, the
city
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 is growing at the same rhythm, with the end of support
people
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 with
facilities
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, and
for
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this
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 reason, I completely agree with the argument that
this
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century
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 is the
time
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 of new opportunities, regardless of big chances in lifestyle compared with many years ago.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, make sure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct purpose, with a logical progression of ideas. Use linking words and transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more coherently.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that not only are present but also directly address the essay prompt and summarize your argument, respectively. This will help the reader understand your stance and the key points that support it.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples. These examples should clearly illustrate and support the argument you are making. Remember that specificity adds depth and persuasiveness to your essay.
task achievement
Make sure you're addressing all parts of the task and responding completely to the prompt. Include clear and comprehensive ideas that fully develop your argument. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall position on the issue.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your argument. While you have provided examples, making them more specific and directly related to your argument can enhance their effectiveness. Examples help to illustrate and reinforce your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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