IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Annual Rainfall in Kona, Hawaii The graph and table below show the average monthly rainfalls and average annual rainfalls for three towns in the district of Kona in Hawaii for a 30-year period (1971-2000). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

Annual Rainfall in Kona, Hawaii The graph and table below show the average monthly rainfalls and average annual rainfalls for three towns in the district of Kona in Hawaii for a 30-year period (1971-2000). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words
#rainfall #kona #hawaii #show #rainfalls #three #towns #district #-year #period #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 of monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 and the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
 for three
town
Change to a plural noun
towns
show examples
 in the district of Kona in Hawaii period 1971 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, Kainaliu had a
rate
Use synonyms
 of precipitation on
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
 of Juni to September for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
30 years. Based on the data, the highest
Use synonyms
rainfall's
Change noun form
rainfall
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
village
Change to a plural noun
villages
show examples
 were
Change preposition
in july
show examples
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
 and
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
. It was noted that the Holualua had a figure of
rate
Use synonyms
 monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 at 12 centimetres in July, and
then
Linking Words
 the Kainaliu had a number of
rate
Use synonyms
 at about 17 centimetres in September.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 month, the Opihihale had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
 at about 11
centimetre
Change to a plural noun
centimetres
show examples
. The
Desember
Correct your spelling
December
 was the month with the lowest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
precipitation along
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the year. In the Holualua, it decreased to the lowest at below 6
centimetre
Change to a plural noun
centimetres
show examples
. In the Opihihale, it
decleaned
Correct your spelling
decreased
 to about 6,2
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
before
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctutation
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the year, and in the Kainaliu, it went
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
down sharply to 6,3 centimetres.
Submitted by endangsepdanius on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, rainfall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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