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Band 5

It is propular that developed country is more responsible to climate change, but some people think that all coubtry is responbile to tackle this issue. Disscuss both view and give your own opinion.

#propular #country #climate #change #people #coubtry #responbile #disscuss
It is widely acknowledged by people that developed
countries
 are the main actors responsible for tackling
climate
change
,
while
 others argue that both developed and developing
countries
 are liable to overcome these issues. I personally agree that all
countries
 are the same since conventional sources related to
climate
change
 are still used by all states in the world. It is understandable that people think that a developed country is the
primer
Correct your spelling
primary
show examples
 agency to alleviate disaster-related
climate
 since most of them still use non-clean energy to activate sophisticated equipment in their electricity sector, especially
countries
 which are located around Europe.
This
 happened since natural sources related to potential electricity are minor, and at the same time, they usually use it to heat their house in the winter season.
For instance
, Germany still imports coal to support their energy supply during the Christmas break, which is easily well-known since, at the same moment,
Indonesia
 does not do that kind of activity.
Therefore
, it is easy for other
countries
 to mention that developed
countries
 like Germany should be in the first line to overcome these issues.
On the other hand
,
Indonesia
 as a developing and producing coal,
also
 resulted in emissions during the production of that product. It happens since
Indonesia
also
 uses fossil flue to accommodate their product and export to Germany.
Hence
,
it is clear that
 not only advanced
countries
 like Europe are liable to
climate
change
, but developing
countries
 like
Indonesia
also
 have to give them contributions since the detrimental repercussions from that issue are faced by all people
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
To sum up
,
although
 a developed country seems to be an actor who
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
massive
Correct quantifier usage
more massive
show examples
 emissions
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 a developing country, both of them should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
teckle
Correct your spelling
tackle
climate
change
 together.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, try to address all parts of the prompt more fully and present your ideas more comprehensively. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion on both views mentioned in the question before giving your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are organized in a logical structure, with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that relates directly back to the question. Also, make use of a wider range of linking devices to connect your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will show that you have a good understanding of the topic and can think critically about the issues involved.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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