Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

No
one
can deny that most people believe it is important to give all their time and attention to the main
subject
,
while
others prefer
otherwise
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss the possible point of view, and what I personally think. On
one
hand, Focusing on
one
subject
has its benefits.
For example
, studying majors like medicine , which are time-consuming and very dense, is better to stay in
this
main
subject
and not branch out. another key reason is that paying full attention to
one
subject
makes the person excel
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it. When the student spends all his time and effort on
one
main
subject
logically he will be good at it.
On the other hand
, despite the above argument, other people choose to believe that learning other subjects
in addition
to their main
subject
is important for many reasons.
Firstly
, it helps
students
expand their horizons. because learning new subjects is like having a different point of view, that may contribute to the main
subject
.
secondly
, learning more than
one
subject
can be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
students
in terms of entertainment. To illustrate, many
students
enjoy reading and learning, about physics
for example
, but do not study it as a
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
major. In conclusion, it seems that learning more than
one
material
in addition
to their main
one
and learning just
one
material is a good idea that depends on the
students
themselves. In my point of view, I believe that focusing on
one
subject
is the best option because it allows the learner to give all his energy in
one
place so they do not burn out.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the introduction could be stronger if you provided a brief overview of the points you will discuss. This sets the stage for a more coherent essay.
logical structure
There are some areas where the logical structure could be improved. For instance, linking phrases such as 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could help in transitioning between points more smoothly.
supported main points
Your main points are generally supported, but some of the arguments could use more specific examples or elaboration to make them more convincing. For instance, the point about students enjoying learning physics could benefit from a more detailed illustration.
complete response
Your essay manages to complete the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion, which is excellent.
clear comprehensive ideas
You used adequate supporting points and tried to elaborate on them, which shows good effort in presenting comprehensive ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively sums up your viewpoint and ties back to your arguments, which brings a sense of closure to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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