Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.
Today, there is an ongoing debate whether the argument that
parents
who spend most of their hours at work than with their children
has
an influence Correct subject-verb agreement
have
in
the social problems that Change preposition
on
involves
the young Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
childrens
. I agree with Correct your spelling
children
this
argument to a certain length and it will be discussed in this
essay.
On the one hand, the increase in social conflict surely has a big growth in the
recent years. Correct article usage
apply
This
can be seen by the massive news we receive on social media regarding young people being disrespectful towards each other, participating in unwanted social activities, and even take
Wrong verb form
taking
part
in criminal offences that potentially results
in jail Change the verb form
result
time
. This
could have been supported by different factors, including their parents
, but not for the most. I would say that there are other elements to this
. For instance
, social environment, teachers and schools, and social media do take part
in this
issue.
On the other hand
, I am sure we have to take account
Change preposition
into account
to
why Change preposition
apply
parents
spend time
working in the first place. Parents
have no choice other than working
to produce money for their family. Change the verb form
to work
This
means that they provide the necessities that are needed in one's family. Parents
spending time
at work is already a canon event for most housholds
. I agree to the extent Correct your spelling
households
where
Correct word choice
that
parents
should have a role when given the time
to communicate with their children
. For instance
, in the free times
that Fix the agreement mistake
time
available
, they should note Add a missing verb
is available
on
the progress their Change preposition
apply
children
are making, and have a good back and forth
talking session to talk about everything Add a hyphen
back-and-forth
that is
needed.
In conclusion, I do believe parents
have a part
in pushing childrens
to be in social conflicts, but it is not a big Correct your spelling
children
part
to
what really Change preposition
of
construct
Correct subject-verb agreement
constructs
children
's behaviours throughout the time
. Childrens
tend to be more exposed to other social factors that Correct your spelling
Children
shapes
their personalities Change the verb form
shape
especially
in the current era. Add the comma(s)
, especially
Hence
, parents
are not the main reason behind this
issueSubmitted by aizawatakeru2 on
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introduction and conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the statement and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your views.
paragraph structure
Use topic sentences to begin each paragraph, making sure they link to the overall argument of the essay.
style
Try to avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to enhance the readability of the essay.
argument development
Fully develop ideas with more specific examples to support your arguments.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
argument consistency
Be consistent in your argument throughout the essay, avoiding contradictory statements or unclear positions.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite