Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, there is an ongoing debate whether the argument that
parents
Use synonyms
who spend most of their hours at work than with their
children
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
an influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the social problems that
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
show examples
the young
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
argument to a certain length and it will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, the increase in social conflict surely has a big growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years.
This
Linking Words
can be seen by the massive news we receive on social media regarding young people being disrespectful towards each other, participating in unwanted social activities, and even
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
part
Use synonyms
in criminal offences that potentially
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in jail
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
could have been supported by different factors, including their
parents
Use synonyms
, but not for the most. I would say that there are other elements to
this
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, social environment, teachers and schools, and social media do take
part
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
issue.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I am sure we have to take
account
Change preposition
into account
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
parents
Use synonyms
spend
time
Use synonyms
working in the first place.
Parents
Use synonyms
have no choice other than
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
to produce money for their family.
This
Linking Words
means that they provide the necessities that are needed in one's family.
Parents
Use synonyms
spending
time
Use synonyms
at work is already a canon event for most
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
. I agree to the extent
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
should have a role when given the
time
Use synonyms
to communicate with their
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
that
available
Add a missing verb
is available
show examples
, they should note
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the progress their
children
Use synonyms
are making, and have a good
back and forth
Add a hyphen
back-and-forth
show examples
talking session to talk about everything
that is
Linking Words
needed. In conclusion, I do believe
parents
Use synonyms
have a
part
Use synonyms
in pushing
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to be in social conflicts, but it is not a big
part
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
what really
construct
Correct subject-verb agreement
constructs
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's behaviours throughout the
time
Use synonyms
.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
show examples
tend to be more exposed to other social factors that
shapes
Change the verb form
shape
show examples
their personalities
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in the current era.
Hence
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
are not the main reason behind
this
Linking Words
issue
Submitted by aizawatakeru2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction and conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the statement and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your views.
paragraph structure
Use topic sentences to begin each paragraph, making sure they link to the overall argument of the essay.
style
Try to avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to enhance the readability of the essay.
argument development
Fully develop ideas with more specific examples to support your arguments.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
argument consistency
Be consistent in your argument throughout the essay, avoiding contradictory statements or unclear positions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental absenteeism
  • Youth delinquency
  • Social development
  • Work-life balance
  • Family-friendly policies
  • Substance abuse
  • Mental health issues
  • Influencers
  • Mitigate
  • Interventions
  • Quality time
  • Family dynamics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Alternative care
  • Behavioral problems
  • Social services
  • Parent-child interaction
  • Civic engagement
  • Peer pressure
  • Digital parenting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: