IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

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Some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that youngsters are involved in social conflicts
due to
Linking Words
 the negligence of their
parents
Use synonyms
 because they are
swampped
Correct your spelling
swamped
swapped
 in their work . I agree with
notion
Add an article
the notion
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 that lack of time for their children
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 harmful impacts on their
overall
Linking Words
 personality. To commence with, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
parents
Use synonyms
 run after the money to give lavish life to their younger ones but they forget
presences
Fix the agreement mistake
presence
show examples
 is equally important for them
which
Correct word choice
and
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 plays a crucial and significant role . All the
parents
Use synonyms
 have
capacity
Change the article
the capacity
show examples
 to shape their children's character and give them advice to become better
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
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 of themselves. Due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 lack of support from their
elders
Add a comma
elders,
show examples
 they
loose
Replace the word
lose
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 their confidence and positivity and involved in social problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per Bombay
Add a comma
news,
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news
Capitalize word
News
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 40% of people in the metropolitan cities have hired baby
sitter
Fix the agreement mistake
sitters
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 to take care of them and both
parents
Use synonyms
 continue their work .
Moreover
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, juveniles feel isolated at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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home , they have all the materialistic items
however
Linking Words
, they do not have love , compassion and empathy from their
parents
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 , not getting appropriate gestures from their elders
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 their childhood
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negativity and they indulge in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad company.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by choosing
Correct article usage
the wrong
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wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 friends they can commit crimes and involved in drugs which will ruin their whole
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per the local survey conducted by.police officers majority of the criminals are younger ones who
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reputed families.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 in the life of children is very important, they can share their valuable experiences with their little ones and save them from committing any mistakes
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
,
fullfilled
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their journey with immense happiness and care.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement which presents the overall argument or point of view. This will make your position clear from the beginning.
task achievement
Work on developing each paragraph with one main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea with details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and help the reader follow your argument more easily. This will enhance the logical flow of information.
task achievement
Make sure that each main point is directly related to the question prompt to ensure relevance, and use specific examples that are detailed and directly support your argument.
coherence cohesion
End the essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position in a different way, offering a clear end to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental absenteeism
  • Youth delinquency
  • Social development
  • Work-life balance
  • Family-friendly policies
  • Substance abuse
  • Mental health issues
  • Influencers
  • Mitigate
  • Interventions
  • Quality time
  • Family dynamics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Alternative care
  • Behavioral problems
  • Social services
  • Parent-child interaction
  • Civic engagement
  • Peer pressure
  • Digital parenting
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