Online shopping has become more popular than before.Discuss causes and effects of this trend.
In the
last
few decades
more people started to Add a comma
decades,
use
online shopping such
as Amazon than in the past. There are some advantage
and Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
for
buying goods Change preposition
to
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
. Capitalize word
Internet
For
example
it is easy that they do not have to go to buy Add a comma
example,
products
. However
, we might get bad
quality Correct word choice
worse
products
than buying the products
in the store; therefore
, these arguments will be important to understand for using these apps.
First of all, there are some advantages of using online shopping. There are many varieties of products
in the shop on
online Change preposition
apply
than
Rephrase
rather than
in store
. Add a hyphen
in-store
This
means that even we
live in other countries it is possible to get the goods that only Correct word choice
if we
sell in
Wrong verb form
sold
the
abroad. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, It is easy to pay in
online shopping by Change preposition
apply
credit
Correct article usage
a credit
cards
with one click. So even for old Fix the agreement mistake
card
people
it is easy for them to buy Add a comma
people,
in
online.
Change preposition
apply
However
, there are some disadvantages too. In online Fix the agreement mistake
shops
shop
we have to Add a comma
shop,
use
credit cards and by using this
some companies are going to scam. This
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
to
lose a Correct pronoun usage
them to
lots
of money. Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
Furthermore
, buying on the internet can not understand the time when the products
are going to arrive at house
so Add an article
the house
that
we can not get the goods until the day to Correct word choice
apply
use
it. Using these apps will be hard for elderly people who can not see very well and do not know how to use
electric devices so when they need somethings
to buy they need more time to buy the Fix the agreement mistake
something
products
than younger.
In conclusion, in this
body sentence
I talked about the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. In my opinion, These apps Add a comma
sentence,
is
very dangerous to Change the verb form
are
use
, however
, in the future everyone will start to use
online shop
to buy but we have to be more careful about the scam and safety.Replace the word
shopping
Submitted by dokmally2 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main point. Then, develop that idea throughout the paragraph with supporting sentences. Conclude each paragraph with a sentence that summarizes the main idea or transitions to the next point.
task achievement
It seems that you attempted to address both causes and effects of the popularity of online shopping, but the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. To improve task achievement, delve deeper into the reasons behind the trend and its consequences. Provide concrete examples and data to back up your points, and ensure that your response fully covers all parts of the task.
task achievement
You have addressed some advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, but the ideas are not clearly or comprehensively explained. To clarify and develop your ideas further, consider using comparison and contrast structures, and make sure to explain how each point supports your argument. Additionally, try to use specific and relevant examples to illustrate each point you make, giving your essay more depth and interest.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.