Some parent say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her.do you agree or disagree?

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A lot of parents believe spoiling
children
Use synonyms
with luxury things is the same as supporting bad
behaviour
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to grow. I believe
that is
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true because it can promote
such
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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insensitive
behaviour
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to grow.
This
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essay will discuss why I agree with
this
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statement and
provides
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provide
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examples to
stronger
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strengthen
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my arguments. A recent study shows that
children
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grow
Correct pronoun usage
who grow
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surrounded
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up surrounded
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by expensive goods will likely
to
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apply
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see it as something usual in the future. When they
grew
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grow
show examples
older, they might think that those expensive features are just regular things that people have which are not everyone as lucky as them.
This
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mindset causes insensitive
behaviour
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to grow.
For example
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, they don't think it is necessary to donate their unused -but still in
a
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apply
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good condition- clothes because they
sure
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are sure
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all people already have
it
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them
show examples
. Insensitive
behaviour
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can lead to a low
social-awareness
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social awareness
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level
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in
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of
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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a
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apply
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children
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. As they expect everyone
are
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to be on
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the same level
with
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as
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them, they might not realize that some people can't even eat three times a day. Not recognizing the need
of
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for
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help around us,
for instance
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, is one of the
form
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forms
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of having low
social-awareness
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social awareness
show examples
.
This
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situation
is bring
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is brought
is bringing
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negative
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a negative
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impact not only
to
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on
show examples
the
children
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,
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apply
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but
also
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to
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on
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the
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apply
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society. In conclusion, I strongly agree that we should stop normalizing giving expensive gifts to a child. It is proven that it can promote insensitive
behaviour
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that
lead
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leads
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to
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
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rate of social awareness.
Submitted by farrandyerza on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Utilize a range of cohesive devices, such as discourse markers and linking words, to aid in the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to thoroughly respond to all parts of the task with well-developed ideas. Provide specific examples to support your main points and elaborate on them in more detail.
General Advice
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the topic to set the tone for the essay. In the body paragraphs, develop your arguments with clear topic sentences and offer evidence or examples that are directly relevant. Finish with a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion.
General Advice
Work on grammatical accuracy and range. There are several instances of incorrect verb tense and agreement, and the use of articles. Proofreading for spelling errors is also essential. Improving these will contribute to a higher score.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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