Some parent say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her.do you agree or disagree?
A lot of parents believe spoiling
children
with luxury things is the same as supporting bad behaviour
to grow. I believe that is
true because it can promote such
an
insensitive Correct article usage
apply
behaviour
to grow. This
essay will discuss why I agree with this
statement and provides
examples to Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
stronger
my arguments.
A recent study shows that Replace the word
strengthen
children
grow
Correct pronoun usage
who grow
surrounded
by expensive goods will likely Change preposition
up surrounded
to
see it as something usual in the future. When they Fix the infinitive
apply
grew
older, they might think that those expensive features are just regular things that people have which are not everyone as lucky as them. Wrong verb form
grow
This
mindset causes insensitive behaviour
to grow. For example
, they don't think it is necessary to donate their unused -but still in a
good condition- clothes because they Correct article usage
apply
sure
all people already have Add a missing verb
are sure
it
.
Insensitive Correct pronoun usage
them
behaviour
can lead to a low social-awareness
level Correct your spelling
social awareness
Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
children
. As they expect everyone are
the same level Wrong verb form
to be on
with
them, they might not realize that some people can't even eat three times a day. Not recognizing the need Change preposition
as
of
help around us, Change preposition
for
for instance
, is one of the form
of having low Change to a plural noun
forms
social-awareness
. Correct your spelling
social awareness
This
situation is bring
Change the verb form
is brought
is bringing
negative
impact not only Correct article usage
a negative
to
the Change preposition
on
children
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to
Change preposition
on
the
society.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that we should stop normalizing giving expensive gifts to a child. It is proven that it can promote insensitive Correct article usage
apply
behaviour
that lead
to Change the verb form
leads
decreasing
rate of social awareness.Correct article usage
a decreasing
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Utilize a range of cohesive devices, such as discourse markers and linking words, to aid in the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to thoroughly respond to all parts of the task with well-developed ideas. Provide specific examples to support your main points and elaborate on them in more detail.
General Advice
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the topic to set the tone for the essay. In the body paragraphs, develop your arguments with clear topic sentences and offer evidence or examples that are directly relevant. Finish with a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion.
General Advice
Work on grammatical accuracy and range. There are several instances of incorrect verb tense and agreement, and the use of articles. Proofreading for spelling errors is also essential. Improving these will contribute to a higher score.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite