Some parents think giving expensive gifts to children create a bad habits. Do you agree or disagree
A lot of parents believe spoiling pupils with luxury things is the same as supporting bad
behaviour
to grow. I believe that is
true because it can promote such
an
insensitive Remove the article
apply
behaviour
. This
essay will discuss why I agree with this
statement and provides
examples to Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
stronger
my arguments.
A recent study shows that children who Replace the word
strengthen
surrounded
by expensive goods will likely Add a missing verb
are surrounded
to
see it as something usual in the future. When they get older, they might think that those are just regular things that people have, which are not everyone as lucky as them. Fix the infinitive
apply
This
mindset causes insensitive behaviour
to grow. For example
, they don't think it is necessary to donate their unused -but still in a
good condition- clothes because they Correct article usage
apply
sure
all people already have Add a missing verb
are sure
it
.
Insensitive Correct pronoun usage
them
behaviour
can lead to a low social-awareness level of a
pupils. As they expect everyone Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
are
the same level Wrong verb form
to be on
with
them, they might not realize that some people can't even eat three times a day. Not recognizing the need Change preposition
as
of
help around us, Change preposition
for
for instance
, is one of the form
of having low Change to a plural noun
forms
social-awareness
. Correct your spelling
social awareness
This
situation is bring
Change the verb form
is brought
is bringing
negative
impact not only Correct article usage
a negative
to
the childrenChange preposition
on
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to
Change preposition
on
the
society.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that we should stop normalizing giving expensive gifts to Correct article usage
apply
a
pupils. It is proven that it can promote insensitive Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
behaviour
that lead
to Change the verb form
leads
decreasing
rate of social awareness.Correct article usage
a decreasing
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea which is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more cohesive structure by using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific and detailed examples that directly support your main points.
task achievement
To improve task response, try to fully address all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion where appropriate and ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite