Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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It is ubiquitous that enhancing public

health

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, especially in

sport

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sports

show examples

centres

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, is the best way to provide

health

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infrastructure.

According to

Linking Words

the

supporter

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supporters

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this

Linking Words

statement, advanced facilities in the

sport

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sports

show examples

centres

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are the greatest solution to changing

people

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's lifestyles.

In contrast

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, the

opposant

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opponents

opposite

argue that allocating more funds

Change preposition

show examples

new sports facilities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a waste of

money

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This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate

these

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on these

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contrasting views and offer the writer's opinion.

To begin

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with, every individual in

this

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general public is not capable of affording to attend yoga

class

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classes

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or joining

gym

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a gym

the gym

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to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Spending

money

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to open new public

health

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such

Linking Words

sport

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sports

show examples

centres

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is the best way to influence

people

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to start closely engaging in physical activities.

In addition

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, nowadays the government is installing new equipment and facilities around the neighbourhood and city parks to catch public attention and bring them closer to inactive lifestyles.

Moreover

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, it can easily be achieved by the citizens without spending huge amounts of

money

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According to

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the statistical data by the Ministry of

Health

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Republic Indonesia, 10 public parks were launched in Malang

city

Capitalize word

City

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Correct word choice

apply

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followed by a lower level of obesity

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among

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the citizens.

On the other hand

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, the

opposant

Correct your spelling

opponents

argue

Correct subject-verb agreement

argues

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that allocating huge

money

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Change preposition

show examples

public

health

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unprovide

Correct subject-verb agreement

unprovides

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

opportunities to maintain

people

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's lifestyles.

However

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, opening new public

centres

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challenges

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

affordability and accessibility issues.

Moreover

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, the government should regulate

health

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programs

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such

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as balanced diet

programs

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and

health

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check up

Correct your spelling

checkup

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programs

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for the elderly with a wide range of medical problems. In short, enhancing public

health

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and regulating

health

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programs

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for the citizens contribute most

for

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show examples

the

people

Use synonyms

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by rossdannisa on Wed Jan 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure your ideas follow a clear, logical progression. Start with an introduction that outlines the main points of discussion, followed by focused paragraphs that elaborate on these points, and conclude with a summary that encapsulates your argument.

coherence cohesion

For the introduction and conclusion, aim to provide a clear thesis statement and restate this in the conclusion along with a summary of your main points. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

When supporting main points, develop them with specific examples and explanations. Ensure that every main idea directly contributes to the overall argument of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure a complete response by addressing both views presented in the topic statement as well as providing your own opinion. Try to fully elaborate on how each view contributes to the discussion on public health.

task achievement

Clarify and expand on your ideas to make them comprehensive. Aim for each paragraph to focus on a single idea, supported by detailed examples and explanations.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Statistics, facts, and anecdotes can help illustrate your points more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that modern games do not develop skill in children.However traditional games developed skills in childhood.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In many parts of the world, people are choosin gto have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?