IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, buying from online stores has become an essential requirement in our present day. But there are exceptions to every rule,
such
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 as the advantages and the disadvantages which online shopping . In
this
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 essay, I'm going to present why the advantages have more benefits than drawbacks. Research has found that people purchase a significant amount of money using apps and websites
such
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 as Amazon and Alibaba have increased so dramatically.
This
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 new method has impacts in a positive path, So individuals will save their own time going to the shopping mall, restaurants, and supermarkets.
Instead
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, they can have them all in one click from the internet.
Furthermore
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, avoid waiting in line in order to buy any new trend projects and items,
Also
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 searching for better promotions and deals through the internet might be easier than going physically.
For instance
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, In Kuwait, the weather is merely hot and people can handle the heat and the air conditions are not helpful either in the houses or inside the cars. With respect to
this
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 situation buying things online has an enormous advantage. It is undeniable that dominance might co-exist which needs to be reconsidered. The fundamental reason for
this
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 is thieves are smart in stealing card numbers online
such
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 as hacking people.
Moreover
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, some fake advertising are leading to disappointment, after the stuff has arrived you will realise there is a significant difference between what you have seen online and what you have right now. Ultimately, these mistakes can be controlled sometimes when the agent is smart enough. In conclusion, the advantages are more than the disadvantages in terms of obtaining things from the Internet.
However
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, it's a double-edged sword , and the benefits have the highest score more than the issues.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay in a clear and logical way, using paragraphs effectively to separate different points. Aim for a clear progression in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position on the topic and succinctly summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Use specific details to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages before reaching a conclusion.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Each point you raise should be clearly explained and elaborated upon to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Rather than general statements, use concrete examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate a wider knowledge of the subject.
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