Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer

Museums and

art

galleries play a crucial role in order as a place to store and show ancient and historical creations to all generations. In the modern world nowadays,

instead

of going to museums and

art

galleries, some people prefer to join a virtual tour of ancient historical objects or

art works

Correct your spelling

artworks

show examples

by using computers from their houses. I personally agree with

this

choice because of some reasons below. First and foremost, it can be more easier and cheaper. People do not have to make an extra effort and can save their

moneys

Change the wording

money

amounts of money

sums of money

show examples

for a trip to the museums and

art

galleries

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it can be done simply by using the computers at their home.

For instance

, people from

Submitted by Deddymus on Thu Feb 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay requires a clearer logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations. Transition smoothly between points using cohesive devices.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction does not clearly state your position. Make sure your thesis statement is directly responding to the essay question and sets the stage for your arguments.

supported main points

Develop your supporting points with more detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.

complete response

Ensure to write a complete response to the topic, including an introduction stating your position, body paragraphs with clear, comprehensive ideas and examples, followed by an appropriate conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint and arguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

Utilize clear and comprehensive ideas within your body paragraphs; each paragraph should have a single main idea that is explored in depth.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate specific examples that are directly related to the arguments you are making. Examples serve to ground your ideas and give them more credibility.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

119 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual
digital
online
accessibility
inclusivity
cultural heritage
physical experience
immersion
local tourism
economy

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Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As a result of electronic inventions such the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated p. Do benefits are more than drawbacks