Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Museums and
art
galleries play a crucial role in order as a place to store and show ancient and historical creations to all generations. In the modern world nowadays,
instead
of going to museums and
art
galleries, some people prefer to join a virtual tour of ancient historical objects or
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
by using computers from their houses. I personally agree with
this
choice because of some reasons below. First and foremost, it can be more easier and cheaper. People do not have to make an extra effort and can save their
moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
for a trip to the museums and
art
galleries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since it can be done simply by using the computers at their home.
For instance
, people from
Submitted by Deddymus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay requires a clearer logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations. Transition smoothly between points using cohesive devices.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does not clearly state your position. Make sure your thesis statement is directly responding to the essay question and sets the stage for your arguments.
supported main points
Develop your supporting points with more detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure to write a complete response to the topic, including an introduction stating your position, body paragraphs with clear, comprehensive ideas and examples, followed by an appropriate conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint and arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Utilize clear and comprehensive ideas within your body paragraphs; each paragraph should have a single main idea that is explored in depth.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples that are directly related to the arguments you are making. Examples serve to ground your ideas and give them more credibility.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: