Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some
people
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assume that advertising is effective
to convince
Change preposition
in convincing
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people
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for buying
Change preposition
to buy
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the products.
Whereas
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,
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apply
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other individuals believe that nobody
gives
Verb problem
pays
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attention
about
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to
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advertising anymore,
that is
Linking Words
too common. In
regard
Correct determiner usage
this regard
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, I believe that advertising is still essential. On one hand, there are
people
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are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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sure that advertising raises awareness about the
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product
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product's
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necessity to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Various
commercials
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can remind
the
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apply
show examples
people
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what they want.
Furthermore
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, with creativity, it can even add what
people
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need even though they did not need before.
For example
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, a woman walks to the department store to buy some clothes. On the street, she saw a beauty
products
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product commercial
show examples
commercials
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that
says
Wrong verb form
said
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: Nurture your skin before it is too late, with crinkles on the face. Suddenly, that woman
realize
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realizes
show examples
she has to maintain her young face and buy these products. On the one hand,
commercials
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are focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
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on
persuation
Correct your spelling
persuasion
, but they have
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
of valuable and practical benefits. Some
people
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only want to use
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
practically, which is based on their substantial necessity. The content of the advertisement fails to abstract them because they do not think they really need the
product
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.
For example
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, an employee is given an advertisement about a hair pomade gel. He thinks he only
need
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needs
show examples
shampoo for the basic
need
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needs
show examples
of his hair, so he sees that the advertisement is irrelevant. From those views, I believe that
commercials
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are still relevant because they are the medium to convey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
product
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knowledge, benefits, and attraction. With
good
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the good
a good
show examples
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
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of marketing, advertising is effective
to attract
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
consumes
Replace the word
consumers
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. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
some people
show examples
think that advertising is valuable to raise awareness about the
product
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while
Linking Words
other
people
Use synonyms
assume it does not show realistic benefits. I believe
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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still useful to attract consumers with great marketing.
Submitted by fifi on

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coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas and paragraphs in a logical sequence. Make use of a variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs, and ensure that pronouns are clearly referenced.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuasive
  • consumer behavior
  • brand awareness
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertising
  • social media platforms
  • ad fatigue
  • desensitized
  • ad-blockers
  • overexposure
  • brand loyalty
  • repetitive
  • irrelevant
  • personalized advertising
  • influencer marketing
  • interactive ads
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