IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People cart eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #cart #variety #food #areas #regions #trend
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The entry of wide culinary options has an impact on individuals' meal preferences. It has an effect in increasing the number of folk consuming
cuisine
Use synonyms
 produced by outer regions rather than locally produced delicacies.
This
Linking Words
 could be either positive or negative points
,
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apply
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 if regulated at a certain point.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that introducing new
cuisine
Use synonyms
 might
be led
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to a more beneficial impact. The advantage of entering
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 gourmet is that it enables
community
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the community
a community
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 to experience new
tastes
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 without having to travel miles to the origin.
As a result
Linking Words
, society could explore unfamiliar
tastes
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 in their cities,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 supporting local businesses that sell foreign foods. As an example, in Tangerang, as there has been an increase
Change preposition
in fan
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fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
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 of
Use synonyms
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
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 bands, various
Korean
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 supermarkets are open with markets targeted to
Korean
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 enthusiasts. It was stated that, in 2019, the number of
Korean
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 import products had increased as the increment of demand.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the drawback includes the loss of interest in local
cuisine
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, especially for the young generation. Young
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 have tendencies to explore new things, including new foods, which in turn makes them
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 interest
for
Change preposition
in
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 local foods.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey that compares favourite food of Indonesian teenagers
,
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apply
show examples
 shows that youngsters prefer Japanese food at an astonishing rate of 76% rather than Indonesian
cuisine
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. In my opinion, the impact of foreign culinary proof is more of a positive effect on culinary fans who like to try new
tastes
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 and for local importer business.
However
Linking Words
, it has a concerning effect because it may disrupt food culture's continuity as the younger generation has developed certain
tastes
Use synonyms
 to explore new things.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the conclusion could be further strengthened by summarizing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your position.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, include a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs, ensuring each main point has a corresponding example or explanation.
task achievement
Make sure to address the question directly by discussing whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
task achievement
Develop ideas more comprehensively by providing detailed analysis and linking them back to the question, showing how they relate to the discussion of advantages outweighing the disadvantages.
task achievement
Using specific examples is good, but make sure they are directly relevant to your argument about the advantages and disadvantages. Also, when possible, include data or references that strengthen your examples' credibility.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary diversity
  • nutritional intake
  • economic benefits
  • cultural exchange
  • food miles
  • carbon emissions
  • local economy
  • food security
  • globalization
  • sustainability
  • supply chain
  • produce
  • importing/exporting
  • agricultural practices
  • cuisine
What to do next:
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