Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centres with other people, rather than living with their adult children. What is the reason for this and what are the solutions for this?

#people #retirement #communities #centres #adult #children #reason

In the present days some senior

people

prefer living in the retirement community and centre with other

people

than with their

grown up

Add a hyphen

grown-up

show examples

sons and daughters.

This

due to

their need not only to join

people

of their same age profile but

also

give

Fix the infinitive

to give

show examples

the mature children freedom to lead their own life.

This

essay,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

will not only discuss the reasons for their choice but

then

air out

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for them. It is of great benefit that after stopping working, the elderly enjoin groups and centres with other

people

firstly

, to

refreshen

Verb problem

freshen

show examples

up after years of toiling under the sun by sharing common experiences.

Additionally

as a result

of leaving their home, they leave behind full-grown children with the power of controlling and managing the home.

This

has

moreover

, benefited the two groups in a positive way. With regard to the

forementioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

show examples

points, it is wise to allow the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

parents

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

show examples

freely in their

preffered

Correct your spelling

preferred

community facilities retiring as it comes with its advantages.

However

this

should be considered

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free will as they should never be forced to join the group. As an example, circumstances should not force them to go there.

For instance

, some decide to settle there

due to

improper care that they receive from their mature children.

To conclude

, the option for parents to leave home and join peers is perfect since they get to share common feelings and experiences and should be

put

Verb problem

taken

show examples

into consideration as long as proper care is offered to them.

Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on Thu Feb 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on the points mentioned, providing relevant examples and clearer explanations to improve task achievement. For instance, discuss specific benefits that retirement communities offer and how they cater to the needs of the elderly, or explore situations where the elderly might not receive the care they need from their families.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are logically connected. Use transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Avoid repetition and aim for variety in linguistic expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

retirement communities
independence
burden
specialized services
healthcare
family structures
engaged
social opportunities
financial feasibility
government support
in-home care services
intergenerational
workplace policies
subsidiary
community-based services
technology-based solutions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Every nation in this world has its own cultural festivals, and they are liable to maintain and aware of them. But nowadays; ironically, we rarely find some of these events. The problem that cause this phenomenon will be elaborated in this essay.
5.5
band
In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.
It is often argued that the behavioural issues of students are the major issues at many schools in most countries. The possible causes of this problem are unstable family backgrounds and peer pressure which could be alleviated by enforcing strict rules and counselling the students regularly. This essay will discuss the same with relevant examples.
4.5
band
A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
Proclaimed has been done by a firm which is interested in constructing an industrial zone which is adjacent to the public society.Although one of the prime benefits behind this is that it provides employment and saves the time for employees, I believe that the drawbacks are overweigh of any advantages since it causes pollution and heavy congestion.
6.5
band
One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: osay how well you know your friend odescribe the qualifications and experience that your friend has oExplain why your friend would be suitable for this job.
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to wholeheartedly recommend my friend, Nancy, for the sports trainer position at your esteemed summer school camp.
7.5
band
Many countries spend a lot of money on improved transport for urban areas while neglecting rural transport. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions according to you?
Several nations spend heavily on the development of transportation systems in urban areas while ignoring rural transport. This can lead to several issues like unemployment and also the local businesses may not be able to export their products. In addition to this, students may not be able to attend schools which are far from their hometown due to the unavailability of public transport. The following essay would discuss these problems in detail, and provide feasible solutions that a government can take.

Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centres with other people, rather than living with their adult children. What is the reason for this and what are the solutions for this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.

A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Many countries spend a lot of money on improved transport for urban areas while neglecting rural transport. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions according to you?