Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centres with other people, rather than living with their adult children. What is the reason for this and what are the solutions for this?

#people #retirement #communities #centres #adult #children #reason

In the present days some senior

people

prefer living in the retirement community and centre with other

people

than with their

grown up

Add a hyphen

grown-up

show examples

sons and daughters.

This

due to

their need not only to join

people

of their same age profile but

also

give

Fix the infinitive

to give

show examples

the mature children freedom to lead their own life.

This

essay,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

will not only discuss the reasons for their choice but

then

air out

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for them. It is of great benefit that after stopping working, the elderly enjoin groups and centres with other

people

firstly

, to

refreshen

Verb problem

freshen

show examples

up after years of toiling under the sun by sharing common experiences.

Additionally

as a result

of leaving their home, they leave behind full-grown children with the power of controlling and managing the home.

This

has

moreover

, benefited the two groups in a positive way. With regard to the

forementioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

show examples

points, it is wise to allow the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

parents

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

show examples

freely in their

preffered

Correct your spelling

preferred

community facilities retiring as it comes with its advantages.

However

this

should be considered

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free will as they should never be forced to join the group. As an example, circumstances should not force them to go there.

For instance

, some decide to settle there

due to

improper care that they receive from their mature children.

To conclude

, the option for parents to leave home and join peers is perfect since they get to share common feelings and experiences and should be

put

Verb problem

taken

show examples

into consideration as long as proper care is offered to them.

Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on Thu Feb 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on the points mentioned, providing relevant examples and clearer explanations to improve task achievement. For instance, discuss specific benefits that retirement communities offer and how they cater to the needs of the elderly, or explore situations where the elderly might not receive the care they need from their families.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are logically connected. Use transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Avoid repetition and aim for variety in linguistic expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

retirement communities
independence
burden
specialized services
healthcare
family structures
engaged
social opportunities
financial feasibility
government support
in-home care services
intergenerational
workplace policies
subsidiary
community-based services
technology-based solutions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Arguably, it is commented whether the world-ruling power should use public funds sensitizing and mobilizing citizens to avert sickness or it should allocate the same money to individual cures. Personally, I strongly agree with the view since it is worthy of preventing rather than treating. However, a cure is less spending than prevention. This essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide evidence to prove the arguments.
7
band
You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Writing a letter to the course director at the cookery school.In your letter . describe what you enjoyed about the course . say how much cooking you have done since the course . suggest another cookery course you would like the school to offer
I am writing this letter to you as a student feedback based on my personal learning experience. Conestoga Culinary School provides the best cooking classes in the Ontario region. I have gained a lot of experience during the period of course.
5.5
band
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. At present, zoos are a tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract vistors. I beleve that wild creatures should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative ways to see them.
4.5
band
Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?
In many countries, the governments increase fuel prices in order to deal with traffic congestion and pollution. I believe that this move can have negative effects on society in the long run. In contrast, there are some other solutions can be made to help reducing traffic and environmental problems.
6
band
Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to GM crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.
In the last few decades, the public in growing countries has quickly expanded. The crowd now thinks that we should turn to genetically modified seeds to increase the production of food grains. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centres with other people, rather than living with their adult children. What is the reason for this and what are the solutions for this?

Fully explain your ideas

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?

Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to GM crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.