IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source #information #majority
This
 essay agrees that
although
 a lot of
people
 have shifted their way of reading
news
 from the
newspapers
 to the
Internet
, the
newspapers
 will remain
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the major source of information.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
news
 on the
Internet
 only covers the headlines of the stories,
while
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
newspapers
 could lay out facts in more detailed manners compared to the
news
 on the
Internet
. Most of the websites on the
Internet
 only write their
news
 as a summary since they need to limit their
pages
 to keep
people
 interested in reading it. When a
news
 website has a quite long page, readers will be bored and tend to skip it.
For instance
, on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average, BBC
News
pages
 only have two to three
pages
 of
news
 because they want to keep their readers following their stories.
On the contrary
,
newspapers
 have been a long-standing media for
people
 to know what is going on in the world currently because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can bring out facts with detailed chronologies and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 limited to
pages
 as their word fonts are quite small.
Moreover
,
newspapers’
Fix the agreement mistake
newspaper’
show examples
 readers are already used to
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
show examples
 a lot of
pages
 when reading
news
,
therefore
, they are more comfortable reading the
news
 in it.
For example
, USA Today’s
newspapers
’ average
pages
 per story could be up to 5
pages
 long and have not experienced any
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in buyers up to
this
 time.
To conclude
,
while
 nowadays the
Internet
 has provided numerous websites for
news
,
people
 are still relying on
newspapers
 because they can fully cover the
news
 with detailed facts and not just headlines and summaries.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your essay has clear and distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea with appropriate linking words between them.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, make sure these paragraphs clearly state your position and succinctly summarize the main points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you address the complete prompt by fully exploring both sides of the argument, even if you are agreeing with one side more strongly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by expanding on each point, explaining the implications or providing more significant insight based on the examples given.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your stance. The inclusion of relevant studies, statistics, or real-life incidents can strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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