Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?
From all over the world,
music
plays a vital role in bringing people
's different cultures also
, we can know other's culture
and their traditions. Some folks believe that music
brings people
and culture
together with
different ages of people
. I agree that music
does great work to well balance all ages of people
. Also
, I believe that music
can heal your inner wounds. I will explain this
in detail in this
essay.People
can relax their minds by hearing
Verb problem
listening to
music
. There are different types of music
like pop, traditional, classical etc. Music
lovers listen to music
that they want to hear. For instance
, in the old era
Add a comma
era,
people
liked to listen to classical songs and at that time there is
Wrong verb form
was
culture
that classical Add an article
a culture
the culture
music
was popular. Moreover
, in today's life also
youngsters like
Add the particle
like to
listen
classical songs.Add the preposition
listen to
Furthermore
, there are lots of events made for classical lovers, so they join and enjoy it. From recent events, in my town, there is a musical event and I also
went to enjoy this
show. I see that from aged people
to youngsters, all came to one place and had fun at this
concert.During the Covid pendamic
, all singers perform their show via a virtual platform. From old style Correct your spelling
pandemic
endemic
song
to new Fix the agreement mistake
songs
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
was
sung and from all over the world Correct subject-verb agreement
were
people
enjoyed from home. For example
, well well-known T-series company produces different
genres of music
hence
, not only in India but worldwide people
like to listen to this
music
. Moreover
, in India, at the end
of the year, there is a sunburn event organize
, Wrong verb form
organised
from
all country Change preposition
by
music
composers who come and bring their culture
to show Indian
public. Correct article usage
the Indian
Also
, people
enjoy the music
and get to know about other traditions and follow them.In conclusion, music
has the ability to bring people
of different cultures and ages together at one stage. Music
can break cultural barriers and unite together. It is expected that this
powerful medium will be used to unite the world together.Submitted by Rachna Academy on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is developed with relevant examples or explanations. Avoid including multiple ideas in one paragraph without fully developing each one.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words effectively to help the reader easily follow the progression of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure that these sections are distinct and well-developed to effectively guide the reader through your discussion.
task achievement
Response fully to all parts of the task. Develop your main points thoroughly and extend your ideas where appropriate.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. This helps to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Try to maintain a clear position throughout your response. Avoid contradictions or unclear statements that can confuse the reader about your stance.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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