Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is a plethora of people
which
think sportsmen can behave as they Correct pronoun usage
who
pleased
on or off the match, round or encounter. These endorsements have led to Wrong verb form
please
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
naughty
actions as an idealism for the youth, and Change preposition
of naughty
be
a Wrong verb form
have been
risk
decision for Replace the word
risky
player's
sponsor. In Correct article usage
the player's
this
essay, I will describe my disagreement with this
statement for the aforementioned reasons.
To begin
with, fortunately
these days sports have become one of the most common ways Add the comma(s)
fortunately,
for
entertaining. Change preposition
of
Also
, kids and teenagers feel attracted when they watch their favourite player winning, Correct word choice
and considering
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
as
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct pronoun usage
them
hero
and a model to live. Fix the agreement mistake
heroes
Nonetheless
, networks and social media can show what is happening second by second. Thus
, is usual to see on
Change preposition
apply
the
multimedia Correct article usage
apply
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
that is
not accepted in society. For instance
, a football player spitting on the ground in front of the cameras, or even shouting swear words. As a consequence
, children are becoming more naughty regardless situation.
Secondly
, the sportsmen which
have rude state could affect their own economics and influence, Correct pronoun usage
who
due to
businesses are involved in sports, most participants received sponsoring with astonishing profits. However
, a bad act would ruin their performance for ever
. As a sample, a boxer who Correct your spelling
forever
transgress
moral standards before and after a fightCorrect subject-verb agreement
transgresses
,
received all the rejection from fans. He lost his personal brand and his consistency went to the deep without chances for redemption.
Remove the comma
apply
To sum up
, being abusive as an athlete could help to win a game. But something more important like public
figure can destroy a career. Correct article usage
a public
Therefore
, I totally disagree when crowds allows
and congrats impolite Change the verb form
allow
behavior
, and I recommend to the sportsman readers not Change the spelling
behaviour
nurture
that thinking.Fix the infinitive
to nurture
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented.
Logical Structure
Develop a more cohesive essay structure with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
Examples & Support
Include specific and relevant examples to support each main point you make, rather than general statements or hypothetical scenarios.
Idea Clarity & Cohesion
Focus on improving the clarity of your ideas by organizing them logically, using transitional phrases to connect thoughts within and between paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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