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Band 5.5

More and more students choose more to other countries to study their higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #countries #study #education
In the global world, many
people
 believe that studying abroad
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in English-native nations
such
 as the UK, the USA, and Australia can bring
then
 more benefits to increase their quality of life.
Although
 there might be debatable from a number of different views. I personally agree with
this
 viewpoint as their opinion seems reasonable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a diverse of reasons. First of all, it should be noted that
people
 studying overseas would experience a variety of
issues
 especially related to mental health
issues
. Students might choose to study in other
countries
 to learn more in higher education institutions
such
 as bachelor's, master's, or Ph.D. degrees.
This
 can occur accompanying
issues
such
 as high level of competition, the pressure of completing their course within given periods, and financial
issues
 which impact
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 mental health conditions. For these reasons, the
issues
 should be considered when
people
 make their decision to study in other
countries
.
However
,
on the other hand
, the advancement of studying overseas in English-based
countries
such
 as America and Britain can be considered as a chance for
people
 who want to have
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
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 high level of income.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that nations for English native speakers might have worldwide famous universities with high reputations. It could be seen that graduated students from Yale University or Oxford University can have more opportunities
of securing
Change preposition
to secure
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 working positions as employers might believe that they are equipped with more capabilities in speaking in additional languages on top of their first languages and competing with internationally intelligent peers than other pupils studied in their own
countries
.
This
 is undeniable that studying in advanced
countries
such
 as the USA might provide significant benefits to the individuals who learn their major
in
Change preposition
apply
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abroad.
To sum up
,
although
 researching abroad can have a negative influence on
people
's psychological condition, it cannot be marginalised that
this
 brings remarkable advantages to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 quality employment experience with higher income levels.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your essay includes these components, strengthening the thesis statement and clearly restating your main points in the conclusion will enhance the overall structure.
complete response
Work on providing balanced examples and explanations for both sides of the argument, even if you have a clear opinion. This will help you fully address the essay prompt.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples to support your points. Personal anecdotes or referencing well-known facts will increase the persuasiveness of your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be consistent with your verb tenses and ensure correct subject-verb agreement to avoid confusion and enhance the clarity of your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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