IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #polution #measures
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It is claimed that the prior solution to the growth of air pollution and
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams in cities is to increase the cost of fuel. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea as there are some other effective ways of resolving these issues. On the one hand, it is true that
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion causes difficulties like having conflicts between drivers and pedestrians, being late for people's destinations, experiencing unexpected accidents
as well as
Linking Words
 polluting air quality.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 contamination originates from various illnesses and impacts the environment seriously.
Therefore
Linking Words
, increasing the price of petrol is one of the most dominant resolutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. Recently in our country,
for instance
Linking Words
, the government has applied a new law which is aimed at providing citizens with good quality and expensive petrol that has less influence on nature.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other alternatives aiding individuals to be environmentally friendly and bringing about them to be less suffered from
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. Switching to the usage of public transportation is asserted to be one of the valid solutions. Communal transports enable people to reach their target easily and safely and barely causes
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems.
In addition
Linking Words
, it would be possible to minimize the percentage of producing toxic gases on condition that the public transportation system is used actively by the public. Another solution is to prevent people who are under twenty-five from driving in order to
decline
Verb problem
decrease
show examples
 the number of vehicles. In conclusion, even though raising the price of petrol is likely a decent idea, other alternative ways including switching to public transportation and limiting the driving age would contribute to both decreasing
traffic
Use synonyms
 and the environment
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
While your essay offers an opinion and some ideas, a more specific development of arguments with clearer examples would be beneficial. Expand on your reasoning behind why increasing petrol prices is effective, and how it directly relates to the issues at hand.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a structure that can be followed, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. More varied linking words and phrases would better show the relationship between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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