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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some people think that university
students
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 should study whatever they like,
while
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 others believe that they should only be allowed to study
subjects
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 that are useful for the future,
such
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 as those related to
science
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 and
technology
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. I would argue that it is better for
students
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 to choose
subjects
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 they enjoy. On the one hand, it is beneficial for university
students
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 to choose
subjects
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 that are useful,
such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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, for several reasons. One reason is that these fields can lead to better job opportunities. Many jobs related to manual
labor
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labour
show examples
 or basic tasks are being replaced by machines, making it challenging to secure traditional roles.
However
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, having a high qualification in
science
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 and
technology
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 can make it easier to find a suitable job.
Additionally
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, careers in
science
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 and
technology
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 often offer higher salaries.
Students
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 in these fields are required to meet rigorous academic standards and work hard to earn their qualifications.
As a result
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, their expertise makes them stand out from other applicants, increasing their chances of securing well-paying jobs.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
students
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 should select majors they are passionate about for several reasons.
Firstly
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, studying
subjects
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 they enjoy can lead to better academic performance.
For example
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, my friend loved mathematics during high school and dedicated most of his time to studying it. His passion motivated him to work hard, and
as a result
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, he became a successful math teacher.
Secondly
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, pursuing
subjects
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 of personal interest can bring happiness and satisfaction. When
students
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 study what they love, they are more likely to feel fulfilled and lead meaningful lives, as they are engaging in work that aligns with their interests and values. In conclusion,
while
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 studying
subjects
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 like
science
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 and
technology
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 can be useful for future career prospects, I believe that allowing
students
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 to choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 is the best choice. It enables them to excel academically and live happier, more fulfilling lives.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the discussion of the benefits of science and technology-related fields by including more nuances, such as the demand for certain soft skills or interdisciplinary knowledge in today's job market.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well structured, think about using transition words more strategically to further emphasize contrasts or complementary arguments between opposing views.
task achievement
The essay effectively communicates a personal perspective on the topic, supporting it with real-life examples and maintaining relevance to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear opening and a harmonious closure to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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