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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to increasing world demandings for oil and gas energy, people need to look for a new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. DO advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #demandings #oil #gas #energy #people #sources #places
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In
this
 contemporary era, oil has been regarded as one of the most crucial natural
sources
 in the world. There has been an increasing demand for oil and gas in recent years. It is a time to look around for these
sources
 in far-distant places
such
 as rural
areas
. I believe that the benefits of finding new
areas
 for energy totally outweigh the negatives. There are plenty of reasons why we need to search the unknown places in daily use
sources
 and the prominent one is job opportunities. The rural
areas
 need to target now for the need for new
sources
 not only to maintain the regular flow of people's life, it would open new employment scope for the population living around those
areas
.
As a result
, they do not need to migrate to urban
areas
 for their daily bread and butter.
Secondly
, there would be a huge development in the economy with the help of acquiring an influx amount of taxes from companies. To elaborate more, From past we can easily see that oil and gas prices are at their peak and companies earning enormous amounts of profits from these
sources
 which
further
 directly benefits the government in the form of taxes as well.
However
, the environmental impact should not be ignored as disturbing the non-touch
areas
 would directly affect the environment and the population's life residing there.
Overall
, it needs to sacrifice local rights and their businesses. In conclusion,
although
 there would be a negative impact on the lives of nearby residents and agricultural growth, it
also
 creates jobs for the locals which restricts them from
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to urban
areas
.
Submitted by sunnygarg710 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Your response to the task does address the prompt, but it can be significantly improved. Work on forming a more complete response that fully addresses all parts of the question. Your ideas must be clearer and more comprehensive. Incorporate specific examples to strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence to support your points. This will make your essay much more persuasive and impactful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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